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Monthly Archives: January 2012

Let the count-down begin!


Let the count-down begin!
to the beginning or the end…
of what we could maybe be…
answer questions I’ve been holding in…

Two blocks on my calendar
circled in a felt marker’s purple ink
mark the days I shall board a plane,
and finally discover what you think…

it shall be the end of all maybes…
it shall be a simple yes or no…
And with whatever choice you make,
i shall be more than happy with which to go…

let the countdown begin!
maybe we’ll just have a good time,
decide best friends really can
stay just and only best friends for life…

or maybe it will be the beginning
of the thoughts i’ve toyed with so many times
perhaps there is a bigger reason….
But in 7 weeks, the answers shall finally be mine.

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peek-hole into the future


I just want one little peek hole
into the future, maybe 15 years…
just a momentary glimpse, even,
would help me out so much here…

Just knowing where to put my energy;
in which endeavors I shall succeed,
and in which trials I ought not bother,
would be really nice just to see…

I guess in failing, i grow stronger…
so, it would be shame
if i were to quit before
I’d learned my lesson from that pain…

And i suppose even those men,
who are not the ones I shall not end up with,
may just be the connecting dots,
between where i am now, & finding him…

I suppose faith love and hope,
really are what it all comes down to…
So mister right, wherever you are,
i hope you hold dear to these, too…

I change my mind…
no peek-hole, do i need…
for what good is a map,
to this dandelion seed?

 

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minimum wage and love


I should be getting dressed for work
i have 10 minutes before I need to leave…
I gotta make it through two more pay checks,
before I can quit, so I ought to go get ready…

I really want to quit tonight,
cash in every last check at my bank,
close my account & pack my bags,
then make my nightly dreamed escape…

Don’t bother getting online for a ticket,
Just go wait stand-by for the next flight…
a few pairs of jeans, my guitar, & diary,
are all I really need for the rest of my life…

Imagine the triumph we could share!
imagine the fun & love we know we’d have…
it’s a shame miles, mountains, & dollars
can keep “someday” looking so drab…

I got to go make stupid sandwiches
for minimum wage right now, sadly it’s true…
But I yearn, I cleave, I ache, i wish…
sigh, I’ve officially become a fool for you…

 

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weathermen always get it wrong…


I went to call up all my girlfriends,
wanted to go on & on & on about you…
like a weatherman, tried to forecast
the future, from all your subtle clues…

whether I”m in for some rainy tears,
or sunny smiles of up ahead,
but a 50/50 chance isn’t helping,
so i must go blind, instead

I couldn’t sleep last night
my heart was watching memories of you
oh, it’s like I’m just waiting for the day
when you say you’re in love with me too…

My head’s tuned to a love channel
& every song seems written for us…
I hate the word ‘maybe’ right now,
and hate all the things that it does…

it won’t let me move on again,
until I have this all figured out
makes me almost wish i could just
flip onto a channel of committed doubt
…almost.

 

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Mix a bottle of us…


like the moon pulls the tide,
you pull my soul to you…
I fear a tsunami of unknowns
will fall on me too….

Our friendship has been constant…
like a beating heart’s pace…
but now, it’s breaking the pattern,
as I feel my timid heart race…

Like a sunflower watches the sun,
i watch you and grow…
but these cloudy hazy doubts,
have stunted all i know…

I wish i had a bottle of us,
the perfect remedy for fear…
the ‘us’ before i got all confused…
so that i could take it now & here…

The greatest risk i ever plan to take…
if i can ever take the risk i know i must,
will be to break that molded bottle of friendship,
and mix a love elixir of mutual trust…

 

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until i find out…


It’s not a matter of if we try,
it’s a matter of when…
and i want to kick a hole in the wall
and crawl out of the room i’m in…

Because suddenly we’re nearing,
the point when we have to decide,
if now is the chance we want to take,
or if we’ll give it a little more time…

I used to like you,
then i said i was done.
damn u for being so cute,
& making my heart come undone…

my convenient anger,
fell to pieces as i found out,
that you never did lie to me,
so, i need to find some more doubt…

Look, there’s someone else i could
be content with forever, after everything…
but, i know i could never settle for him,
until i figure out if we are meant to be…

 

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which comes first? in the female mind…


Valued… valuable…
loved…. lovable
trusted…trustable…
friended… friendable…

While the second must be
completed before the first is secured
They are the adverbs & adjectives
every girl wants to be assured…

For in the backwards thinking
of the complicated female mind,
she is not the second of the two,
until she has been the first, defined…

So men, please don’t get all proud,
assure her that you are friends
that she is loved, and trusted,
and valued above all of them…

 
 

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Sunrises anew…


I always loved all the colors…
smeared & dimly glowing away,
i loved seeing how it softly hushed
darkness over the light of day….

But I am ready to change,
Find my glowing somewhere new,
I want to wake up for the sunrise,
Smell the freshness of the dew…

I’m ready for mornings to be mine,
for I’ve seen enough days end…
from here on out, I want to live,
in the cycle where I can see it all begin…

I want to see the light triumph
I want to be part of the sun’s ascension,
into it’s throne of blinding majesty,
after breaking through a haze of crimson…

No more sleepy sunsets mellow,
shall I seek out in lazy awe…
For I am ready to live life awake,
from now on, I shall rise with the dawn

 

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to the heartbroken I’ve read…


Hush breaking world,
actually, go ahead & cry…
I shall not silence
the healing tears from the sky…

A sweet voice of comfort,
I wish I could sing to you,
but instead I shall bow my head,
and pray for for whom i never knew…

I read your poems of heartbreak,
sensing the sting and burn you relate,
I don’t even know you, but,
my heart goes out to you, just the same…

And maybe a small comfort,
in knowing this, you shall find…
somewhere in the world a stranger,
is praying for your distant life…

—–

Dedicated to fellow wordpress poets/writers… I hope all turns out the best for you. always.

 

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Single path… catch me on the other side…


I wish i had a man,
to write a love song for…
I know that sounds crazy,
but i’ve done all that before…

I love that initial rush,
the blinded fire of passion,
how everything he does is perfect,
then time changes my reaction…

And suddenly I realize,
i have settled once again.
And I wasted too much time,
on something i can never win.

I’m happy by myself right now,
proud of my healing & growth…
And it’s not a good time anyway,
Maybe come back in year, or so…

Because if I get a boyfriend now,
I’d be using him all over again.
it’s frustrating knowing this is true,
and fighting not to let my self give in…

To be honest, it’s fun & exciting,
a relief for my trophy to drive me around…
but it’s not fair to who ever that mister is,
so, I”m keeping my feet on single ground…

Path wide enough for only one,
Mangled with curves, twists, & dips…
Catch me on the other side…
and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be ready again…

 

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