i want to be weak

05 Jan

I look in the mirror of the bathroom i locked myself in.
i see red eyes overflowing with salty streams of tears..
I see tiny beads trailing down my cheek to my chin,
I don’t bother to wipe away the floating ships of fears…

No, now, i shall let my heart storm…
I will open wide the floodgates of my soul.
I want to see myself cry. i want to see the pain.
i want proof that i care. i want myself to be the fool.

I need to know i’m not hardened within,
i need to let tears blur my journal page,
i’m so sick of being the strong one,
i’m so sick of hiding the frustration & rage.

Yet even now as I let my breathing shudder,
even as i feel lightning burn my heart within,
i shall never let another witness this darkness,
no… this darkness is too dark to share with them.

I must be the light for everyone else…
Oh God, i want so bad to just be weak.
Oh Hell, i know what that feels like now.
Oh escape is what i desperately seek…


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