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Monthly Archives: November 2012

free of you & me…


Let armageddon loose on our imagined little empire of dreams …
Leave no trace of hope or ‘maybe someday’, please be honest with me …
Don’t leave any pieces bleeding love through…
Crush me until ashes of anger is all I have for you

And if you can’t do it, then I’ll do this to you…
There’s not a chance in the world & there’s nothing you can do
I won’t even wear my mask of tears to this unceremonious goodbye,
Set fire to your bullshit dreams & watch the embers cool to white…

I could say sorry, I could say maybe someday,
I could even pull out just friends… but not today…
This is the last you’ll ever hear of me,
& no… no I am not sorry. I’m finally free

 

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guilt mask… be mean


Don’t use your “sorry”s & tears as a clever little mask,
to make you feel less guilty for how much you’re really glad…
inside a small part of you is breaking free to fly…
don’t leave my soul with dangling questions, don’t cry…

Look, stop living in denial, we can not ever be just friends
And you know my heart is already aching, I don’t want to do this again…
I’m already bleeding, so put me out of my misery,
Use a knife, use a gun, use a hammer, use kerosene…

Leave our future in shreds of ruined miles of tire…
Leave no trace of hope or maybe, set ‘us’ on fire…
Don’t leave any pieces bleeding love through…
Crush me until ashes of anger is all I have for you

I remember seeing your eyes slowly stop following me from afar,
realizing the distance was to great for me to keep grip of your heart…
Just stop trying to be all nice, about killing you & me…
Do me justice & baby please; crush my heart & dreams: be mean…

 

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but i didn’t love you


I loved how much you loved me…
but someone else can too…
I loved all the attention…
but someday, someone else will listen too…

I loved that you were so loyal
committed & true…
only problem was…
that i was not actually in love with you…

I couldn’t stand how you
could cook better than me,
and that you couldn’t even name
all the NFL teams….

it drove me insane,
how your life plans always changed
and that you cared as much about fashion
as I did about climbing the range…

you were an amazing best friend…
and you truly were always there for me…
but at least for right now baby,
you & I were not made to be…

 

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Let “us” Rest In Peace


Don’t lie to me, I can see through your tears…
You’re just covering up how much you really don’t care…
Don’t make me feel worse than I already do…
Stop making me keep holding on to you

Oh this ain’t healthy, And this ain’t right
We both know it’s over, We’re both tired of the fight
Oh & I’m tired of waiting for this uneasiness to end…
For just once why don’t we Just call this what it is???

Oh ‘it’ is over… & we’re so through
And I thought I could make things work out with you
But I just feel awful inside, guilty all the time,
Like I won’t ever feel this is right & I know that I don’t love you… so fine-

I’m not going to lie through my tears
Just to cover up how much I don’t care…
Don’t make me feel worse than I already do
For having already let go of you…

it wasn’t healthy, & it wasn’t right…
i mean it this time, this is the end to the fight…
just let me go… oh… just let me leave
just let us go… and…just let ‘us’ rest in peace…

 

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Alone


Alone,

i’m finding a new strength…
that he could never provide,
i can finally stretch out
and i know that i’ll survive…

I see your world falling apart
since we left each other’s lives,
& mine is shooting like a star
so many wishes have arrived…

I almost feel bad
that I feel so great being through…
i finally can sleep in peace…
no more lies of ‘i love you too’

Alone, i can write so many songs
i find new inspirations all around…
when you aren’t keeping me up at night
or guilt tripping me into staying down…

alone.
i can do anything alone.
i want to be alone.
just leave me alone
i love just being alone.

 

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don’t tell me


Don’t tell me
about all we can be
i mean, c’mon, please…
i never did like fantasy….

 

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The fire is MINE


I thought i was going to crumble…
i thought i was going to cry all night…
Can’t say i didn’t see it coming…
so worried i would compromise….

And as pieces of my world fell down around me
I looked up at the volcanic sky…
my eyes narrowed and my jaw clenched forward…
oh please, it’s in the danger zone that I thrive…

So let the burning ash blotch away the light…
My glowing rage shall illume my way…
My heart grows cold as my energy takes body…
enough of your excuses about shades of grey!

because enough is enough
& i used to really care,
but not today, not anymore
since this game is already unfair…

I’ll take the chips i’ve got
though loss it may be…
and put my bets on any thing else
besides all i wanted us to be…

I finally found the strength
and my heart is too angry to cry…
I finally know that I can do this alone
because right now, the fire is mine.

 

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