tick tock, destiny’s clock…

never enough to make me go
never enough to make me stay
living in this limbo of mediocrity
trying not to waste my life away

oh waiting for the action i have
now, waiting for it slow down again…
and it’s always a waste of my life
until i have someone to share this all with…

but i know it’s not this one,
i know it wasn’t that one before,
in fact there really isn’t anyone
but all the stories for me to wait for…

so tick tock, wait on my life clock
destiny is just this tease of a game…
this one or that one, it’s beginning to bore,
living on the sidelines always ends the same…

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child, YOU are the fool

So you think you know love, oh dear
So you think you can save my cynical soul…
Leave me alone if you please Mr. weird,
For I am the expert, & you are the fool…

You are the fool who calls himself ‘romantic’
You are the fool who believes in ‘first sight’
You are the fool who thinks that ‘forever’
Is made up of cliché feelings and rhymes…

I am the expert who has dated many a man
Who statistically speaking, had followed a plan
Bitterness and guilt mixed with anger and hurt pride,
Oh foolish boy, I have the right to patronize….

 

i wanted that tornado… but fire doesn’t mix with ice

I wanted to love you until the end, I really did…
But then I felt the emptiness of the cold night wind…
A text [message] saying we should really talk in person about this…
I should really have known better than to trust the weather men…

They said it would be warm & sunny days
They said the forecast was a lovely & nice relationship…
But you had fooled me like the eerie silence before a storm,
And oh, baby, I will never be caught in this cold tornado again!

Running for the cellar, just hoping for refuge from the chaos,
reaching out to grab what I hold most dear only for you to rip it away,
At this point I’m trying to lock my heart into the ground…
Before I’ll ever let you take my heart’s breathe away into the grey…

Oh storm clouds whip snow into my eyes…
But with eyes squinted in fear, I can finally see the truth around me
& That the cellar to which I’ve been running all this time,
Has been the eye of the storm just waiting to embrace me….

Haha, I wanted to love you until the end, what a fool!
You deceived me into believing you felt the same for me,
Oh some day I hope you know, sweet demon of lies,
You may bring the cold, but I shall bring the fire to this meeting…

 

a few other “Ever afters”

So now I would like to take a realistic moment
To point out a serious flaw with every fairy tale’s last page…
And offer an alternative to how their time after ‘the end’
Was actually lived out as these lovely ladies began to age…
—-

Jasmine was so happy with her little market boy of a hero
Until after the bad guy left, and he just kept spending her gold….
She watched her kingdom disappear into a crumbling a mess,
Until revolutionaries captured & tortured them in ways better left untold

And a blonde named Rose was fine with her prince,
Until the whole age thing began to really be a problem, indeed…
She couldn’t figure out all his new gadgets & she got on his nerves,
Now they sleep in different rooms, & he’s better friends with his steed…

Cinderella found herself doing the dishes again tonight,
Because all of servants decided to go to the ball next door…
And her dear prince charming was out fighting a dragon or maybe a war,
& She’s going a little crazy, talking to rats under the floor….

And poor little mermaid, she thought feet would be so cool,
But honestly she misses her family & swimming around coral reef,
& After the wedding, the prince heard her voice & cringed..
So, now she only speaks to annoy him.. into bringing her back to the sea….

So you see, my dear ladies, not to simply be sour…
But sometimes a longer dating process might come in smartly indeed,
Lest you too find a prince in a number of months,
And be filled with regrets of too fast with a mister, who aint all he seems….

 

Everyone knows, that nobody knows…

You don’t even know
to whom my heart flies,
so why would you ask me,
if I’m ready to give us a try?…

when I don’t even know
how to tame my wild soul
Oh & you know how i am,
why make us both into fools?

when nobody knows…
how to unravel my chaos within
& nobody really can get
within touching distance of it…

And I’ve grown too proud
to lay my head on the shoulder of another
And i’ve grown too wise,
to expect some exception full of wonder…

Nobody knows, not you not me…
nobody asks any more, you see…
they all are sure, it’s as it always was
plenty of choices, my choice always coming undone….

 

So be a man

I want you to be a man, and lead me…
Choosing a man of caliber is my responsibility
but none of the other guys will do for me…
So I’m asking for you to step up and carry me…

Oh, and if it isn’t you, I really am going to give up now…
no point in pushing things that won’t work out,..
All of a sudden games aren’t fun any more, you know…
And I just want to settle down & trust you so…

So be the man who raises me up to who i can be…
not with chastising but with sweet encouraging…
So be the one who holds my hand in the dark…
and who i can trust to lead me toward brighter stars…

Oh and if it isn’t you I’m really through with love for now.
Oh my fire has no spark any more & it’s dimming down…
All the loves found & lost are seeming more a trend these days…
So either be a man & love me or leave me with no heart aches…

 

heart in the hands of another

If you put your heart in the hands of another,
heart break is all that you can expect in return…
So i shall hold my heart in the freezer of time,
and deny you the warmth for which you yearn…

but then as months move forward i begin to get cold,
and realize that only in risking it’s loss, can love be received…
So i cautiously broke my heart, and gave you one piece at a time…
then i looked at my hands and saw all the blood i’d released…

So whole hearted or cold hearted, i shall no longer break
my own being for the sake of preserving my cautious dignity…
And what is love preserved frozen until I die alone?..
but some sad shadow of all that very well still could be?

So i’m thawing out this cold hearted bitch i’ve become…
and this time when i trust my heart in the hands of another,
I shall judge ahead how worthy & strong are those hands
because to me he must be more than just another… he must be my lover…

 

power of the moon

Count the scores & pass out ribbons,
let’s finish today & call everything before it the past…
because starting tomorrow, it all will change
starting tomorrow, stop running through life so fast…

because every life has it’s phases, like the moon…
they come and they go, from light to dark and light…
but you have the power to mix up the order,
you have the power to sway tomorrow’s tide…

go ahead & glow in the future,
because tomorrow starts a new game to be won…
there is no calendar dictating you anymore,
better live your life while you still have one.

 

Squiggles and wiggles and hearts

squiggles and wiggles and hearts on the edge
with plenty of swirls and flowers penciled in…
I’m writing letters and can’t help but draw
all the frilly emotions i’m gushing within…

oh no, i’m so stupid, i’m doing it again…
oh somebody make me stop , make it end!
but um, can you wait until we know if it works out?
because i really can’t go back to just friends…

because i like him a lot, i’m not going to lie
and so what? So, he’s not the cutest guy
but he’s funny, and down to earth, and you know what?
it wasn’t even my choice this time…

so squiggles & wiggles & hearts away
my world is caught in a whirl wind of flirty smiles…
well, okay, heart!… go crazy and artsy & weird….
it’s not like i can stop you anyway, so l’ll let you run wild

 

100 more whirls

We went for a walk under Colorado skies,
you saw a shooting star & i stole your wish…
you turned to me & told me you already got it…
and when i asked you what? you leaned in for a kiss…

and i kind of stood there & didn’t know what to do…
and i kind of feel giggly like an 8th grade girl
and i kind of keep looking past your eyes for another star,
so that i can wish to give that 100 more whirls…