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Today, I’m a bitch

08 Jun

Today, i realized how sour i’ve become
today i realized I’m a jealous bitch
today i realized i’m not really a good person
and today, I realized i’m not over it…

I’m not over all the rejection, all the hurt & lies,
I’m not over all the people I’ve left, or friendships I abused,
I’m not over all the people that I’ve left behind,
and i’m not quite ready to accept the truth…

today i realized i play games with boys
because it’s the only control & power i get
i’m not where i want to be in my life
& failure kinda sucks when it starts to sink in…

Today i realized I don’t want to let anyone love me
because the people who love me, I always let down
I know this sounds depressing & sad and all that,
but all i feel is angry & annoyed with how it all turned out…

Tomorrow, i may learn to love the world again
tomorrow, i may want to let someone love me too,
tomorrow, i may just be happy & content with life,
but today, tomorrow seems a little vague & untrue

when you look under the bandaid
there’s ugly scars & open wounds
Does anybody ever really heal from the world?
or do they all just bullshit their way through?
I mean, even Jesus still has wounds

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