divided risks

i think i finally am falling for you
in the end, it’s actually a really easy thing to do
while half of me is jeering, & the other half is cheering
all i know, is that this is a risk that i’m sick of fearing

and i wouldn’t put my chips one way or the other
i’m entirely divided between feeling horror & wonder
but i guess when all is said & done,
you never hear anyone say, ‘gee, i sure regret love’…

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cold go

just feels like i left the door open on a winter night,
because i’m still waiting for you to come back home…
and all the cold air swirls around & numbs my heart…
because deep down, i know, i already let you go…

 

courage of another sort

they say to plan it all out
they say to keep an eye on the tide,
they say to stay close to the shore,
but i say you only get one ride…

and oh it’s a deep sea, indeed…
and the reality is some will sink…
but I would rather fall short of stars,
than live my life in mediocrity…

you already have it all! it all!
& in your prime as you will ever be…
you only have one life here anyway…
and it’s a trade worth making…

you can live in the middle 80 years…
or you could make “living” your new career…
ain’t no shame in a few cuts & scrapes here & there..
best thing about loosing it all, is there’s nothing to fear…

i think brave is a term i should reserve for my brother
but there’s another sort of courage, i’d reserve for others…
for those moments when the green zig zag holds it’s beep,
and the man still holds her hand & somehow, his belief…

for the woman who watches her daughter leave home
trusting God will teach & lead her as she goes…
for the priest that leaves his country & loved ones behind
and for all those who refuse to let their hope ever slow…

 

emotion’s tide

Don’t know where emotions grow from
Or what makes them ebb away or run…
Can’t say I crashed into the deep,
As much as that I’ve waded into you & me…

And I wouldn’t write our book just yet
And I wouldn’t name our future pets…
And I wouldn’t envision the place we’ll be…
Because I’m afraid… it’s already happening…

I’m feeling little swirls of giggles & sweet
Getting little urges to kiss you on the cheek,
When i wake up, i see your ‘good morning’ text each day,
And today i realized, I can’t just let you slip away…

Because little quirky memories float like bubbles
Like holding hands, crossing streets over puddles,
You and I playing guitar on El Dorado’s park stage…
all the hippies came to listen on as the blue faded into grey…

You know, I won’t admit that crawling hugginess inside.
But the feelings are washing over like a full moon’s tide…
And looking back, over all the lemon ice cream days,
I can’t let the distance just make them drip away…

 

when you capture the wild

once you capture the sparkle in the child’s eye,
hold the reflection of a ripple on a sunny stream,
grasp the rainbow’s colored vibrance in your hand,
or control the tide & the waves on the beach…

then, shall be the day, my free spirit shall too
be caught from the wild & tamed in a jar…
but the problem with waves, sparkles, & me…
is that once you tame them, they lose their meaning

the sparkle shall dull into a dim florescent light
and a ripple becomes nothing more than stagnant pond
the colorful vibrance shall be all but lost once forced still,
and the waves shall not seize until the moon is gone…

So beware your mission holds great danger,
beware, I prefer to fly in the winds of fate…
don’t be too hasty to fall for that wild mustang,
because, this little one, prefers the world’s stage…

 

why me?

I have not found the secret to life
nor can I explain all of the reasons why
In fact, I don’t really even understand myself,
so why on Earth, am I the one you want to help?

 

coins, spells, rainbows, & wells

like the coins they threw into a wishing well,
like the words they spoke from a book of spells
like a tone-deaf girl trying to learn how to sing
we were wasted as money bet on the lottery…

oh like using a phone book 2 decades old,
and following rainbows looking for a pot of gold,
some people will disappoint you in the end
doesn’t matter how much heart & hope you put into it…

now i ain’t sayin’ miracles can’t come true
or that wishes in fountains isn’t fun to do…
all i’m saying is that i’m done trusting you…
time wastin’, so let’s hasten & make this through…

 

half-assed baby

it’s true I am getting older,
& perhaps a bit bolder,
wasted too much time on you
which is why we should just be through

and now you’re calling ‘wait, baby!’
but it’s too late for my ‘maybe’
you’re so full of excuses & scape goats…
i’m tired of your singing fake notes…

You take no responsibility
if every problem stemmed from me
why are you still here?
it’s time for you to disappear…

Noo… no more ‘maybes’
i ain’t your baby…
noo.. just go, OH i say
what i mean today

I’m tired of you juggling me & work
I’m tired of you treating me like your trophy girl..
I’m not what you’re looking for any more
So sick of your half-assed ‘I’m sure’

I won’t take the late late nights
I won’t take the “but I tried”s…
& it’s true I’m just getting older…
which is why I’m finally enough bolder

to stop wasting any more time
and move on with my life…
goodbye half assed baby…
So I’ll leave with a half assed maybe….

but really, i think we both know
it’s time to let this circus go…
I’m feeling up to finding passion & love maybe soon
And all i got to go on, is that it sure ain’t you…

 

just another ‘now’…

just another almost mr. charming…
just another could have been, but walked away…
just another few months spent
on another one who I can say is one who got away…

oh when will i stop pushing & pushing?
when can i just open up again?
i guess i wasn’t ready, i guess i’m still not…
but, i’m getting closer & closer to it…

Someday soon, i’ll love again, i can feel it
oh it warms & settles in my soul…
oh someday soon, i’ll even let one love me back…
as soon as i can learn to give up a little control…

but for now.. i’m closer
for now, i’m still free
for now I’m going on adventures
but now, isn’t everything

 

the Rush away

Take me to the wind
and make me feel alive again…
take me to the sea.
and hold me with your love for me..

rushing waterfall in the night
starry fireflies dancing in flight
adrenaline rush of a false night scare
coming undone as you touch my hair…

the passionate burst of colors i see
when your hand reaches around me
then as i realize this could be everyday
i back up into the grey.. & run away…

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