im gonna be a little more of everything

And I am gonna try to be
A little more of everything
And I am going to try
To make faith the truth of my life

And hope is never the easiest thing
And love is never as cliché as it seems
And faith has come to be the battle fought
Day and night, I fight it with all I’ve got…

But it’s not enough for me to say
I’ll figure it all out some other day
I can’t just hide my grudges within
And pretend they are all forgiven…

The way of this world is to act out of fear
The way of this world is to doubt that anyone cares
The way of this world is to put yourself first
But the problem is, the way of this world is a curse…

I shall act out of faith, for I already know the end.
I shall hope & believe the best, over & over again.
And I shall try to will the good of others over myself…
For there is hidden the truest and most lasting of wealth…

I’m gonna be faithfilled against despair
I’m gonna be hopeful, when nobody cares…
I’m gonna be more loving, beyond just me
I’m gonna be, a little more of everything.

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for the sake of adventure…

someday, it will be okay to just sit on my couch all saturday afternoon & watch a movie marathon, drinking tea & eating ice cream & fudge… But today, i have far too much to do. I am moving to another country in 3 weeks, and all i want to do is sleep, rest, & just procastinate in general. Why do we aspire to go so far far away, just to acquire the peaceful lifestyle i could easily achieve now if i were to just stop moving? to stop exploring?

 

and yet, i can faintly hear the exotic bustling city sounds in the wind. i can feel the crashing of distant waves, i can see the far off sunset and smell the strange night air, i can even taste sweet juicy fruits that only grow there…. I’ve saved up for months, budgeting carefully, turning down nights out with friends, and concerts, and shows… i suppose i figure these far off friends, shows, and concerts will be worth that wait? we shall see… tonight, i wish i could just relax.