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of life and love… the balance of the who vs what

12 Jul

I think “true love” is such a stupid theoretical cliche used far too often.

Please, yes, there has to be a spark, but it’s so much more.
For so long, i thought it was a checklist. Money, God, Social, Kind, Caring, good looking, etc… Now i know it is so much more. You have to truly just care about the person.

Look at them and admire them. Their mannerisms, their looks, their eyes, their laugh. You have to love them for WHO they are, AND for WHAT they are. not just what. and not just who. which are the two extremes everyone seems to go to these days.

It has to be a balance. for quite some time, i’ve had this philosophy of see if he matches the ‘what’ before i start to fall for the ‘who’. but this is awful. i truly think you have to look at them both equally from the beginning, or you are far too likely to fall in love with the idea of someone, and the idea of a potential future than to actually consider them for who they are at their core.

Love the person. Marry the whole. I realize how many guys i’ve hurt as i’ve lived this way. Guys maybe look for a little too much of the who, and girls maybe look a little too much for the what. but it has to be a balance. and a commitment to love both, through changes, through doubts, through time.

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