Dear Lord… Sinfully, yours truly

OH, enter in the prayer i ought to speak,
oh, it’s been so long, since i truly believed.
and oh, i kneel here on sinful knees,
oh Lord, please come break my everything…

Oh oh Lord, I need you. and all the pain you put me through

take me to the altar,
sacrifice my strength
i’m a hollow nothing
outside of your way with me.

oh lord, i need you… and all the pain you put me through.

there was a time i mapped out my life
such a holy pride i held my head up high.
if only i had been humble enough to hold your hand…
but i was too young and naive to understand

it’s the brokenness, that rebuilds into strength.
it’s in the silence where wisdom comes to speak.
it’s in a humble love, that we must give away everything.
and in giving it all away, that we receive peace…

Oh Lord, I need you, and all the pain you put me through…

it’s a hard cold world, without your comforting touch.
it’s a double edged sword that screams that one is never enough.
it’s a hopeless race, bitterly regretting the dripping time,
and for every drop passing, I’ve lost meaning in my life…

and then there’s you. and then there’s your son,
and then there’s Mary and her rose garden of love,
and then there’s this honesty that breaks my hardened pride,
Oh Lord, crush all my plans, and make my life right…

All the money in the world, can’t buy me peace of mind,
and all the travels only make me yearn for someone at my side,
and all the success only makes me realize how empty it is,
without your plan, burning from the center of it.

Here at this place, i step forward emptily filled,
I’ve not lived the life, that i know you had willed.
tears aren’t enough, break my heart tonight.
i don’t need the world. i only need you in my life…

So wash my heart, and make it pure in your sight,
let it be as a lily, make it strong for the fight.
Help me love the imperfection, seeing traces of you,
Oh Lord take everything, and make it all new.

Oh Lord, I need you, and all the pain you put me through…

i need the strength, i need the softness, i need the truth.
i need to be reborn, feel the rush of grace and peace flowing through,
there is nothing greater, and you are the first and only i chose.
oh Lord, now i know, i need you. i’ve always needed you.

Hear the raw truth, there is nothing greater in this life
test it with your limited years, it will be a bitter waste of time.
and as an egg shell must break, for a bird to come forth,
Lord break the empty shell of my life, and make it so much more

God, for real.
i desire nothing more.
finally this time,
I’m sinfully yours.

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chart our stars, and melt my heart

in the silence, beats a whisper to the dark…
it’s the soft whimper of a slowly starving heart…
no longer desperate, it has outlived the war,
but it’s missing the hope it had before…

oh so unwise, after all this time,
indecisive and apathetically inclined.
i turn so cold, when i’m afraid,
lest i relieve all the frozen pain…

i want to love, make me a sun,
blaze in the day ricochet off the moon,
i want to awake, i want to flood,
let my walls and darkness come undone

a galaxy too expansive for me,
i couldn’t chose a brightest star,
but now i see, the truth of things,
the brightest depends on where you are…

So come close to me, i want your touch.
i want you to know my heart, my love.
melt the frozen blood, let me cry,
just stay here, at my wounded side.

and I will see your scars, and light your dark.
i will hold your hand, and make you a star chart,
we can dance, on earth it’s more than enough
our day has finally come to free us to be us.

i want my best friend, by my side.
the one who makes me smile any time.
i don’t need a star, or foreign mystery,
i just want to give you everything, all of me.

 

My scars are the map to my heart

take my wrinkles, just try.
i know they say im young, only 25…
take all the anger, let it fly away
release it in whispers, while you just wait…

take my tears, don’t try to make them stop
just let me cry, tears can be so strong…

take my honesty, i know it’s raw…
i’m past sugar coating, all my flaws.
so take my dreaming, and take my fears,
let me give you all my many many cares.

take my folly, take my games,
take my intensity, it will fade,
but take it now, while it’s hot and here.
don’t try to make all the scars disappear.

my scars are the map to my heart.
my pain has become my strength.
my sorrows have become my laughs,
and my failures, my sympathy…

my losses, have become my knowledge
my fractures, have made me wise.
i no longer flirt with the devil,
but i’ll still challenge him each night.

my world has become a book,
set in a distant time and place.
my happy ending not written, nor guaranteed,
and i’m done running a fruitless race.

my wrinkles have become my beauty.
so take my flaws and love each one.
take my fear and hold me softly,
let me slowly come, and slowly love.

take my eyes and read my heart.
it’s a painful and tale, i wish not to repeat.
but when i open up don’t try to hush my cries,
let me release the weight i’m holding.

feel my sorrow with me.
feel hear my song written in the nights
when i couldn’t sleep and couldn’t dream.
when i couldn’t pray, and couldn’t fight.

take the empty journal pages.
i gave up on writing in the end.
my story was not one i want to tell anymore.
but, we could still write in them…

just take my pushing you away.
take my controlling crazy rants.
take my heart, and please just love it.
let me be crazy let me be flawed, just take the chance.

let me be me, scars and all.
take me, and i’ll take all of you.
if this is how i look at 25,
just imagine me at ninety two…

can you still love me then?
can you still take my reasonless rhyme?
love me or leave me, no trick or treat,
is your love ebbing, or is it growing with time?

i need to know if my scars are beautiful too?