let’s wait and see

let’s take some time, always more time…

and i hear myself say it, and wince on the inside…

After so long, how can I not know or feel my own heart?

how can time leave us, both in the dark?

 

There were days and times, I acted like i was in control,

but it’s like my mind has lost contact with my soul,

it’s somewhere out there, leaving us both stranded at sea,

wondering when the answers will come back to me…..

.

I’ve lost my pride, and gained some years,

to wrinkle my skin, and let my eyes be carved by my tears…

It feels too far, it feels too hard, it feels too real, it feels too fast…

it feels scary, it feels magnetic, i’m terrified and angry, but want it to last…

.

somewhere beneath, aren’t I supposed to have a feeling, if this is love?

but how would I know? You’re eye are piercing, what has my heart done?

I have no words, i’ll just wait and curse and let time abandon me…

then in the end, it will be my fault, because i said nothing besides, “let’s wait and see”…

.

 

 

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hitchiked hearts

it’s been a long mountain road

it was too far, too steep to go alone…

hitch-hiked hearts along the way…

it was my greatest and darkest mistake…

.

If i had been strong and brave enough from the start

to set off on my own and exercise my legs and my heart,

i would have been strong enough far before now…

to reach the mountain top, and settle down.

.

because when you go alone, you learn to read the map for yourself,

when you go alone, you build the muscle to maintain your own health,

and when you go alone, you’ll cry, and find the comfort in faith,

and only after these are learned, can true love be sustained…