Category Archives: family

my drought and storm….

I built myself a solid shelter from the storm…
with rusty nails the builders had once spurred.
I felt no need, in design, to conform.
so i nested it in a tree, where i could feel as a bird…

but in life, it’s usually flood or drought,
and the wisdom of elders is often drowned out,
by the firework’s boom, and the flashing lights,
and those in the trees, lose the power of lime lights…

I told myself, others would build nearby soon…
but the lights afar, were the only ones that grew,
i know that I’m the one who looks lost in a dream,
but I’m just not like them, and I’m sick of trying to be.

I”m tired of calling out, waving others to come in.
for they all promised to join, but then went away again.
and perhaps, alone, and afar, is where Im meant to be,
though, the view is now watching everyone else become happy.

call me stubborn, call me extreme,
but i won’t leave paradise just to find company…
though without someone, what is paradise for?
and so both my storm and drought begin once more…

how much is paradise really worth?
and ought i maybe consider to conform?
for the sun encircles their world and mine,
and the only similarity, is the passing time…


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the cost of living out dreams

the world is not nearly as large as i once had thought it…
people not so very diverse nor different beneath.
and as i sit here now where i had once only imagined,
i dwell on the cost of living your dreams…

there is always a loss of what could have been
that we trade for whatever we chose to achieve…
and the sickest of lies that hollywood has polluted
is that we can have it all, if we only believe.

Nobody can have it all.

So before you trade your day to day world
with loved ones and adorned with daily routine,
question in your heart what is the cost you are willing
to trade in reality for the chance to live your dreams?


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dusty paradise

I really wanted a story to tell
then life took over like a crazy weed…
it took roots in all my dreams
then set me loose with only a few beans…

magically they’re blooming into hope
climbing wonders only I’ve ever known…
and the dusty paradise is oh so sweet
just a little sweat, a little grime, and a little make believe…


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being alive!

I really need to fall in love again
and this week, I really have…

I realized you can fall in love with the sunrise
fall in love with the ever changing moon
fall in love with the starry milkey way
and fall in love with always finding the truth

fall in love with the changing seasons
fall in love with the people in my life
fall in love with the plans of grand travel
fall in love with a coffee shop open mic night

fall in love with walks through red rocks
and fall in love with nerdy co workers who bring smiles
fall in love with watering my garden at dusk
and fall in love with rising above and beyond my trials

Falling in love with a dream i swear i won’t let die
fall in love with the secrets i harbor within my heart
already falling in love with whoever i will marry someday
and fall in love with all the way my future’s begun to start

and i’ve fallen in love with my guitar strings
fallen in love with swing dancing all night
fallen in love with my sisters, brother, and folks
but mostly, i’ve just fallen in love with being alive


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Angel pins and Moonlight

the long hikes up pikes peak,
the well loved guitar strings,
at red rocks, writing poetry
all the simple little joyous things…

taking pictures of the sunshine,
and dancing in the moonlight,
all the experimental recipes,
and eternally shopping for halloween…

all the songs you used to sing
and dying your hair between our sinks
there are too many triggers that beget
bonding memories, for me to ever forget… you

And anyone who says life is made up of a grand rise and demise
doesnt know what it means to loose your shadow and sunshine
for it is not the tragedy of great gravity I first recall…
no, that follows after all the sweet loving moments so small….

Sometimes it only takes an angel pin
sometimes it only takes a dandelion
sometimes, the greatest gift is just to listen
and sometimes, you won’t get another chance to give them…

so make every little moment count….


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chains & storms

Some nights i miss you so much
i break my heart within tearful chains
but the memories won’t let me loose…
i hide from friends with ‘i’m too tired’ claims…

with led balls of guilt, i won’t go out, i find
sometimes you just need a long hard cry…
& like the rumbling Texas lightning strikes…
the flashing memories can’t be contained tonight…

so tonight i lay broken in two
i would do anything to take back time
i didn’t know you were more divided than I am…
i didn’t know your chains were too heavy to fight…

and definitely didn’t know you would take your own life…


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why do burns keep their sting?

Why does it all have to cut so deep?
why does the burn have to keep it’s sting?
why does it feel like every word turns into a bruise?
i just miss being close to you….

and you raise your voice just to make me hear
but i can’t hear you after that over my fear
how have you & I changed so much from how it used to be?
it’s like we can’t figure out what the other is saying…

we used to stay up playing cards
till the middle of the night,
now we stay up just to fuss
or to end up having some awful fight…

used to join you on car rides
just sing country songs with you
now you’re using it as leverage
to force me to do what you want me to…

I used to think you could never be wrong,
you had all the answers to life
but now everything seems like we’re out of sync
& this definitely doesn’t feel right…

i just want to feel like you love me again
but i can’t figure out how to tell you through the tears
over the fighting & debating & gritted teeth,
our old hearts are lost, & it’s two new people standing here…


Posted by on June 2, 2013 in family, introspective, life, Poetry


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my muddy puddle

my own freaking puddle
of muddied water stands infested
what was once a clear pool of reason,
my conscious and values have been bested…

Not by some undermining mentor,
or by some devil stirring up debris,
no, my water has been muddied by pride,
and selfish thinking of me and only me…

And today the stagnant hot puddle
bred some insects of deadly disease…
and amid my selfish little world,
an ugly venom bit into somebody…

it poisoned someone who loves me,
and i was so thick in my world, i didn’t see…
that a few sharp words, let carelessly loose
had caused so much pain & suffering….

I hate how i feel separated from
the better person, i once swore i would stay
funny how pools become gutter puddles,
and how i guess you never know how things will change?…


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A split river to choose

I’ve never seen the river split so clean
my two options more separately laid…
i’ve never wanted so much to stay right here,
and yet, to kayak onto one of their ways…

Oh stupid boys have it so great & swell,
they get their careers & a family life too…
but now, i’m being told to choose adventure or
give all that up and find a man who will stay true…

Oh and i don’t want to chose one or the other,
and so i’m crossing off both options as time flies…
oh where has it been? and where does it go?
the water keeps on running and I’m fighting the tide….


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She was just a waterfall

She was just a waterfall….
So beautiful and enrapturing
Powerful and thunderous,
Yet, gentle and fascinating…

She reflected the beauty of the sunlight
Like a rainbow in the misty haze…
Oh she was like a waterfall…
Let a few tears fall every day….

And her sister tried to love her with her whole heart
But her sister had no idea it would be so hard
to convince her that it’s okay not to be a normal river…
and that waterfalls and calm waters both have equal parts…

and the father loved that waterfall like the sunshine
and when he was around, that’s when she sparkled most…
but nobody knew the pain of the rocks beaten beneath the rapids…
and it wasn’t long before that waterfall let her life fall into a ghost…

and so now, I, that sister sit in her room tonight…
haunted by snow-globes and treasure boxes she once cherished on a shelf…
I wonder if she’ll ever wake up from the trance & rubble of the storm?…
Without love, there’s no point in distractions; she was my cherished wealth….


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