chart our stars, and melt my heart

in the silence, beats a whisper to the dark…
it’s the soft whimper of a slowly starving heart…
no longer desperate, it has outlived the war,
but it’s missing the hope it had before…

oh so unwise, after all this time,
indecisive and apathetically inclined.
i turn so cold, when i’m afraid,
lest i relieve all the frozen pain…

i want to love, make me a sun,
blaze in the day ricochet off the moon,
i want to awake, i want to flood,
let my walls and darkness come undone

a galaxy too expansive for me,
i couldn’t chose a brightest star,
but now i see, the truth of things,
the brightest depends on where you are…

So come close to me, i want your touch.
i want you to know my heart, my love.
melt the frozen blood, let me cry,
just stay here, at my wounded side.

and I will see your scars, and light your dark.
i will hold your hand, and make you a star chart,
we can dance, on earth it’s more than enough
our day has finally come to free us to be us.

i want my best friend, by my side.
the one who makes me smile any time.
i don’t need a star, or foreign mystery,
i just want to give you everything, all of me.

Advertisement

 

What about the beautiful wrinkles?

What about an old cowgirl?
who will love all her wrinkles now?
all the cowboys are still getting chased,
while she’s out still chasing the cows…

She’s doing all the dirty work
the grit, the hurt, the mornings before dawn,
but with all the pretty young faces,
who’s there to stay up and listen to her song???

What about the world explorer?
the one who did peace corps and has seen war?
what about that poet who gave her youth
searching for answers, to write the truth?

Who is going to see her travelled skin,
and love it for all the places it has been?
She’s the story they will all love to read,
but the guys still go for a prettier young thing.

What about the single mother who tries
to raise the daughter he left behind?
with a heart stronger than steel
and 80 hour shifts to pay the bill…

Who’s going to notice her strength?
What guy will go buy a brand new ring?
Oh they are such a foolish lot,
men never know the love nor heart they’ve got….

And what about every woman with silver hair?
what about the 35 year olds who are single out there?
what about us girls who have hearts of gold,
…all the guys only want someone less than 25 years old…

 

memories to relive

cozy toes curled on soft carpeted floors on a winter night,
electrically charged sunrises over the mountain filled skies,
thick coffees, teas, and milky hot chocolate drinks,
friendly embraces and fire colored autumn leaves…

dewey dotted gardens filled with daily growing life
crimson roses that let their perfumes take loving flight
fireflies that dance on a texas summer night
and windy days filled with billowing distant kites…

Silky story book pages bleeding of color and worlds
filled with contagious adventures and magical girls.
campfires, and juicy berry cobbler served boiling sweet,
genuine smiles and hearts full of hopes in distant dreams…

never lose the wonder, never lose the peace,
never stop loving, and trying, and giving everything.
embrace every sunrise, and paint it’s details within,
hold every memory, to relive joyously again and again…

 

Where hearts really beat

There are truths that lie
There are smiles that hide,
Where our hearts really beat,
Behind the words we speak…

When doubt shines shadows on hope…
And love is a stranger I don’t know…
Sometimes it’s easier to hold it in,
Than to acknowledge what it really is…

Like the greatest star that shines in the day
And how the fastest lessons come from play.
How the tallest mountain begins on the sea floor
And the greatest empire in history lives no more…

Sometimes the best things are out of place
So you and I are natural in a weird kind of way…

There are truths that I almost hide,
There are smiles and locked eyes,
But we both know despite everything,
Exactly for whom our hearts really beat…

 

my drought and storm….

I built myself a solid shelter from the storm…
with rusty nails the builders had once spurred.
I felt no need, in design, to conform.
so i nested it in a tree, where i could feel as a bird…

but in life, it’s usually flood or drought,
and the wisdom of elders is often drowned out,
by the firework’s boom, and the flashing lights,
and those in the trees, lose the power of lime lights…

I told myself, others would build nearby soon…
but the lights afar, were the only ones that grew,
i know that I’m the one who looks lost in a dream,
but I’m just not like them, and I’m sick of trying to be.

I”m tired of calling out, waving others to come in.
for they all promised to join, but then went away again.
and perhaps, alone, and afar, is where Im meant to be,
though, the view is now watching everyone else become happy.

call me stubborn, call me extreme,
but i won’t leave paradise just to find company…
though without someone, what is paradise for?
and so both my storm and drought begin once more…

how much is paradise really worth?
and ought i maybe consider to conform?
for the sun encircles their world and mine,
and the only similarity, is the passing time…

 

the cost of living out dreams

the world is not nearly as large as i once had thought it…
people not so very diverse nor different beneath.
and as i sit here now where i had once only imagined,
i dwell on the cost of living your dreams…

there is always a loss of what could have been
that we trade for whatever we chose to achieve…
and the sickest of lies that hollywood has polluted
is that we can have it all, if we only believe.

Nobody can have it all.

So before you trade your day to day world
with loved ones and adorned with daily routine,
question in your heart what is the cost you are willing
to trade in reality for the chance to live your dreams?

 

my heart is melting out

my heart is slowly melting out
into tears of crimson need…
staining all my journal pages
like the glass of wine I raise to drink…

my frustration leaks through cracks
like lava shifting out of grinding tectonic plates
gushing and hardening over the flowers
leaving my world in a shiny layer of grey…

my envy boils beneath my stone face
and like the scarlet afterglow of the sky
the vermilion bleeds out the wish of my heart
and cleaves just to turn back time

to before I chose to say goodbye…

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
,
,
,

 

Coyotes, Dust, and the Cost of Love

now go go, just let it all go,
somebody’s gonna go fetch her, you know…
don’t think twice, we both know you can’t do this alone,
so go go go, go bring her back home…

and i feel the earth’s heart beat, under my feet
pulling me back, it’s hypnotizing,
do you believe in fate? do you believe in grace?
do you believe that we were made to change?

oh go go, go bring her back home real quick,
without her, you’re whole world ain’t worth a lick…
go go, the moon swells into a bright enough glow,
for you to ride through the night, and bring her back home…

oh oh oh, the coyotes howl echos in the wind,
she hears it and feeds on the rush of adrenaline,
the pounding hoof beats and the cloud of dust,
charge in the hot summer night with the reality of love…

it’s a chase, it’s a fight, it’s a battle, it’s life
it’s a flash, it’s a thunder, it’s the wild, it’s the wonder,
it’s the bang and the crash, it’s the peace in the aftermath,
it’s the years it’s the tears, it’s the glory, it’s the fears

and it’s the up and down, it’s the distance, it’s this town…
it’s the wrong, it’s the right, it’s the battle cry,
it’s the pain and the gain, it’s always been the same…
it’s the sober it’s the drunk, it’s the cost of love…

 

deep and far away

Once I felt a reason, and we had our season,
when I could have loved you, I could have loved you…
you sought out answers, to every question
that I ever asked you, that I ever asked you….

But rain and snow and hail came in our winter,
And I just couldn’t make it through to summer days…
I don’t know why I couldn’t keep going, i couldn’t love you.
I can’t really answer the one question you gave…

I know it wasn’t fair, i turned off the water to our fountain,
and you were still there, just wanting to hold my hand.
I don’t know where or what happened to our seasons..
honestly, i don’t think either of us will ever understand….

once I felt a reason, and we had our season,
and I could have loved you, i could have loved you, but walked away
you gave me so many answers so very many answers
and i couldn’t tell you a single reason, even a bad one, that i walked away

somewhere there in the shadow of time, in the base of words, and the depth of rhymes
I’m still searching, I”m still digging in my soul,
somewhere so deep, so very cold, somewhere so very hard,
can anybody ever love something so very far… far away,
can anybody make it, dig that deep, to that dark of a place?

 

it was almost meant to be

we were like thunder and lightning addicted to fighting in the rain..
electrifying touches, and heart pounding words drove us both insane,
we were like that crisp apple pie smell mixed with fresh morning fog,
you were that hot cup of tea, and that original sweet heart song…

you were my tornado shelter in the storm, but disaster in the calm,
i was that exhaustion you grew too love, and the water that you lived on…
it was like we were on a tire swing, or a great trapeze,
always up and down, but neither of us could ever leave…
until i did.

then it was like the empty house on a holiday, spent alone.
it was like dreams coming alive and haunting all i’d known…
it was like seeing the commitment that was just too much to do,
and even when i left, it was almost like i still loved you…