What about the beautiful wrinkles?

What about an old cowgirl?
who will love all her wrinkles now?
all the cowboys are still getting chased,
while she’s out still chasing the cows…

She’s doing all the dirty work
the grit, the hurt, the mornings before dawn,
but with all the pretty young faces,
who’s there to stay up and listen to her song???

What about the world explorer?
the one who did peace corps and has seen war?
what about that poet who gave her youth
searching for answers, to write the truth?

Who is going to see her travelled skin,
and love it for all the places it has been?
She’s the story they will all love to read,
but the guys still go for a prettier young thing.

What about the single mother who tries
to raise the daughter he left behind?
with a heart stronger than steel
and 80 hour shifts to pay the bill…

Who’s going to notice her strength?
What guy will go buy a brand new ring?
Oh they are such a foolish lot,
men never know the love nor heart they’ve got….

And what about every woman with silver hair?
what about the 35 year olds who are single out there?
what about us girls who have hearts of gold,
…all the guys only want someone less than 25 years old…

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memories to relive

cozy toes curled on soft carpeted floors on a winter night,
electrically charged sunrises over the mountain filled skies,
thick coffees, teas, and milky hot chocolate drinks,
friendly embraces and fire colored autumn leaves…

dewey dotted gardens filled with daily growing life
crimson roses that let their perfumes take loving flight
fireflies that dance on a texas summer night
and windy days filled with billowing distant kites…

Silky story book pages bleeding of color and worlds
filled with contagious adventures and magical girls.
campfires, and juicy berry cobbler served boiling sweet,
genuine smiles and hearts full of hopes in distant dreams…

never lose the wonder, never lose the peace,
never stop loving, and trying, and giving everything.
embrace every sunrise, and paint it’s details within,
hold every memory, to relive joyously again and again…

 

don’t let yourself go

Could it be that ‘the one’ is just a joke
pick some one and love them, never let them go…?
find someone and find a way to make them laugh,
why must we complicate it so much more than that?

oh i was such an angry girl,
i just wanted to fire back at the world,
such a lost dream, such a hurt hope,
such a beautiful story that nobody ever wrote…

gotta tell myself, i’m fine now, im really fine.
just the way i am, even if i know it’s a lie.
look in the mirror, learn to love the face i see,
learn to love all the hurt, the eyes are hiding…

learn to love and forgive all the sins i tried…
learn to cry and trust someone again sometime,
maybe stop building walls up so very high?
worst case- they break me, but what’s another time?

stand up strait, it’s gonna be alright
i’m just fine, every wrinkle is where it goes.
i’m beautiful and i’m a good person at the core,
pick myself and love me, never let me go…

don’t let yourself go.

 

tragedy of the norm

took my hope and took my heart
took my dreams and lit a spark,
should’ve known fire burns
and that a burn leaves a scar…

got no tragedy to mourn
was only a victim to the norm,
undervalued what we had
and thought it not worth fighting for…

but some times the fire stays
and sometimes it don’t even fade
and when the winds blow in your face,
sometimes, it just strengthens the flame.

So i left, and you moved on…
like every one-who-got-away song…
should of listened to the radio
before i made the same wrong…

took my hope and took my heart
took my dreams and lit a spark,
should’ve known fire burns
and that a burn leaves a scar…

i know you are only human
i remember you as a friend
as the one who taught me to love,
and since whom i haven’t loved again…

 

until you say goodbye to me

I never meant to leave you behind
I don’t know what I thought I would find
I guess i thought you might follow behind
And always believed we get back together with time

When you moved on, I really did try.
I tried with men, I tried with wine,
I tried with travels, and I tried with time…
But I still can’t get you out of my mind…

I guess you’re happy and have moved on
This time I won’t lie, I wish it were me.
but since this is what you want, all I ask,
and all I beg that you give in parting,

is show up for one last night to dance
please let’s talk, so I can realize we’re too different,
and I’ve already thrown away my pride so grant me this one thing,
please show up, so that you can say good bye to me.

I finally realized you’re the heart I can’t let go
So I need you to be the one to leave me alone.
Because I can’t move on, Until I see,
until I see you say goodbye to me.

 

i beg to differ.

Everyone always says the hardest thing is letting go.
But i beg to differ.

letting go and moving on may bitter the heart
and cloud the mind
but it’s nothing that can’t be solved with enough travel
and enough time…

but the hardest challenge, the bloodiest battle to be fought
is not letting go of the past, it’s trying again.
it’s giving what has hurt you time and time again this second chance,
even though you know how it will end.

it’s holding onto the belief that whatever pains that you have come to know and as part of your life
are worth the eventual joy that has been promised to you, after all this wasted strife.

everyone always has said that the hardest thing is letting go.
im sorry but i have to differ,
the hardest thing is after every burn, after every scar, still fighting for hope. the hardest battle is hope.

but it’s the key to everything. hope. always hope.

 

it’s like we’re already in tomorrow…

I don’t want to be your would have been perfect,
i don’t want to be that sweet goodbye, maybe someday,
because i don’t want to be your fire of an adventure
and then become your ‘one who got away”

i don’t want to admit the truth to anyone living,
and i wouldn’t even tell you if you strait up asked.
but if you grabbed me, the way you look at me,
and just kissed me like we both know you want to…
well then maybe, this wouldn’t just float into the past…

you know, i live on this world, not much more specific-
have a few countries, and dozens of cities under my belt.
i’d have been fine following a whim, if you’d just gotten up the guts
to have come and honestly told me how you’ve felt…

but tomorrow you’ll fly away… like we both knew you would.
and all they all foretold, all we both expected, will just disappear
into a story that neither of us will ever tell…
so we’ll just hold it in our hearts; and act like we never even cared.

like we never even cared at all.
guess you’ll be my one who got away, after all…

 

the cost of living out dreams

the world is not nearly as large as i once had thought it…
people not so very diverse nor different beneath.
and as i sit here now where i had once only imagined,
i dwell on the cost of living your dreams…

there is always a loss of what could have been
that we trade for whatever we chose to achieve…
and the sickest of lies that hollywood has polluted
is that we can have it all, if we only believe.

Nobody can have it all.

So before you trade your day to day world
with loved ones and adorned with daily routine,
question in your heart what is the cost you are willing
to trade in reality for the chance to live your dreams?

 

withdrawal from love

holding back my love
you’d been so addicted on…
i see you suffer withdrawal
as im halfway already gone…

he came in and stole a part
of the world we almost had
and i can’t make up my mind
and the storm clouds grew sad,

they furled down acid rain
and burned my beauty away.
they scorned my indecision
and whipped my heart with chains.

Now it bleeds for how i yearn
to both love and unlove both…
i see how much i’ve hurt them,
and i’d rather always be alone…

than ever hurt anyone again…
than to feel my gut wince…
as you strike it with begging words…
to please love you once again…

 

my heart is melting out

my heart is slowly melting out
into tears of crimson need…
staining all my journal pages
like the glass of wine I raise to drink…

my frustration leaks through cracks
like lava shifting out of grinding tectonic plates
gushing and hardening over the flowers
leaving my world in a shiny layer of grey…

my envy boils beneath my stone face
and like the scarlet afterglow of the sky
the vermilion bleeds out the wish of my heart
and cleaves just to turn back time

to before I chose to say goodbye…

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