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Tag Archives: alone

my drought and storm….


I built myself a solid shelter from the storm…
with rusty nails the builders had once spurred.
I felt no need, in design, to conform.
so i nested it in a tree, where i could feel as a bird…

but in life, it’s usually flood or drought,
and the wisdom of elders is often drowned out,
by the firework’s boom, and the flashing lights,
and those in the trees, lose the power of lime lights…

I told myself, others would build nearby soon…
but the lights afar, were the only ones that grew,
i know that I’m the one who looks lost in a dream,
but I’m just not like them, and I’m sick of trying to be.

I”m tired of calling out, waving others to come in.
for they all promised to join, but then went away again.
and perhaps, alone, and afar, is where Im meant to be,
though, the view is now watching everyone else become happy.

call me stubborn, call me extreme,
but i won’t leave paradise just to find company…
though without someone, what is paradise for?
and so both my storm and drought begin once more…

how much is paradise really worth?
and ought i maybe consider to conform?
for the sun encircles their world and mine,
and the only similarity, is the passing time…

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Coyotes, Dust, and the Cost of Love


now go go, just let it all go,
somebody’s gonna go fetch her, you know…
don’t think twice, we both know you can’t do this alone,
so go go go, go bring her back home…

and i feel the earth’s heart beat, under my feet
pulling me back, it’s hypnotizing,
do you believe in fate? do you believe in grace?
do you believe that we were made to change?

oh go go, go bring her back home real quick,
without her, you’re whole world ain’t worth a lick…
go go, the moon swells into a bright enough glow,
for you to ride through the night, and bring her back home…

oh oh oh, the coyotes howl echos in the wind,
she hears it and feeds on the rush of adrenaline,
the pounding hoof beats and the cloud of dust,
charge in the hot summer night with the reality of love…

it’s a chase, it’s a fight, it’s a battle, it’s life
it’s a flash, it’s a thunder, it’s the wild, it’s the wonder,
it’s the bang and the crash, it’s the peace in the aftermath,
it’s the years it’s the tears, it’s the glory, it’s the fears

and it’s the up and down, it’s the distance, it’s this town…
it’s the wrong, it’s the right, it’s the battle cry,
it’s the pain and the gain, it’s always been the same…
it’s the sober it’s the drunk, it’s the cost of love…

 

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ok with being alone this time.


i don’t want another let’s just play
i don’t want another rush and then regret,
i don’t want just some fool with witty words
to cook up intrigue just to keep my heart fed…

i want something realer than a shooting star
that actually died light years ago…
i don’t want another pretend, for now, just friends…
so i’m going to start living alone…

I don’t want to waste time with Mr. in-between
Going to stay open and alive by myself waiting…
It’s hard to move on without a rebound to suffice,
but you know, I’m okay with being alone this time.

 

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I’ll be honest… and that’s okay


I’ll be honest, i’m not that happy…
But you know what, sometimes that’s okay…
Because I know it’s a cold dark winter,
And i’ll have more laughs on some summer day…

I’ll be honest, i’m really scared nobody will love me
Nobody will love me for who i really am…
but even more scary is that I wonder if i can love him
but you know what, time will tell me if anyone can…

And you know, to be honest right now…
i feel so alone, useless, & just really ugly inside out…
But my plan is just to say my prayers, & wish on stars,
until time & sunshine eventually will end my doubt…

and i’ll be honest, i’m not okay….
but there’s a beauty to accepting this sorrow,
and i have faith that there will be more smiles,
if i can just wait it out, until tomorrow’s tomorrow…

 

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learning to love myself alone <3


i really want to fall into somebody’s embrace tonight…
just that comfort of strong arms holding me tight…
and i know that urge, i know exactly what it does…
So, i’m locking myself in, & forbidding myself to run….

Nothing is so scary about being alone…
i just start to bore myself & resist the battle to grow…
but this time i’m not letting myself just go…
i’m going to enjoy my own company without the show…

learn to laugh at the jokes i tell in my head
serenade myself with a guitar on my bed…
going to dress myself up for an evening at home
going to love myself into loving just being alone.

no more guys, no more using them like a crutch…
little darling, it’s time to stop running & grow the heck up…
if i can’t love myself, why would anyone else in the world?
oh so tonight, i’m learning to love this crazy girl…

inside out, laugh for joy with no one to hear…
find an art project or a journey i go on each year…
find that magic, find that beauty in my own soul & mind…
i know it sounds crazy… but i’m learning to love myself tonight.

 

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Alone


Alone,

i’m finding a new strength…
that he could never provide,
i can finally stretch out
and i know that i’ll survive…

I see your world falling apart
since we left each other’s lives,
& mine is shooting like a star
so many wishes have arrived…

I almost feel bad
that I feel so great being through…
i finally can sleep in peace…
no more lies of ‘i love you too’

Alone, i can write so many songs
i find new inspirations all around…
when you aren’t keeping me up at night
or guilt tripping me into staying down…

alone.
i can do anything alone.
i want to be alone.
just leave me alone
i love just being alone.

 

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The fire is MINE


I thought i was going to crumble…
i thought i was going to cry all night…
Can’t say i didn’t see it coming…
so worried i would compromise….

And as pieces of my world fell down around me
I looked up at the volcanic sky…
my eyes narrowed and my jaw clenched forward…
oh please, it’s in the danger zone that I thrive…

So let the burning ash blotch away the light…
My glowing rage shall illume my way…
My heart grows cold as my energy takes body…
enough of your excuses about shades of grey!

because enough is enough
& i used to really care,
but not today, not anymore
since this game is already unfair…

I’ll take the chips i’ve got
though loss it may be…
and put my bets on any thing else
besides all i wanted us to be…

I finally found the strength
and my heart is too angry to cry…
I finally know that I can do this alone
because right now, the fire is mine.

 

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