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you are my cuprit, victim, and mystery


you are the embodiment of my every extreme
the one closest to my heart, and farthest from me,
you are the sunshine, the thunderstorm, and diamond nights,
you are the cause and solution to my burning inner fight

you are the loser and champion of every debate,
you are the confusion and clarity when i’m insane,
the one i’ll always attack, and always defend,
you are the newest lover, and oldest friend,

when it comes down to it, you are my blessing and curse
like ying and yang, we are intertwined by the universe
you are the fire that drives my heart into a tizzy,
and the peace that you give me, to calm my inner busy…

you are the neons, the glowing, the black hole, the dreams,
you are the culprit, the victim, and my own mystery,
you are the wishes, and the wished for, the wisher, and the star
you hold the questions, the answers, and the maze to my heart

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sticky love


Love is sticky as honey in a jar
slightly tinted & hard to depart
and sometimes its sickly sweet in your gut
but all in all it’s the taste of trust

trust being held or broken in the rain
either way, i feel you on my fingers today…
so turn your honey jar upside down…
i know you have some love on the edges round…

somewhere in there you get a feeling for me
just give me a chance to let you love me…

 
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Posted by on November 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Brighter trails


there’s a certain hour you reach
when all the walls have grown too high
and all the doors have closed to you
and you start to doubt another try….

oh then it’s not time to leave, heart like mine…
oh it’s not time to break into tears or broken sighs
it’s not the time to let the sand slip into the night
no, it’s time… to find a way to burn more bright…

oh the stars they can’t out shine us,
oh the stories they can’t even come close,
and our journey shall be the most epic,
and and the trail map can’t reach where we shall go…

 

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how do you even begin?


How do you even begin
to tell someone that you never moved on?
how do you make them believe you?
when all they know is that you’ve been gone?…

and who can make themselves that vulnerable?
to honestly just admit i was lying all along?
lying to myself & to the world…
because i didn’t want him to prove me wrong…

but two years later, and i still can’t
get you and your blue eyes out of my head…
replaying memories over & over,
listening to all the words i once heard you said….

and maybe you have moved on…
found some girl who doesn’t try her best to leave…
maybe i’m going to get scarred this time,
but that’s a risk i’ll take for the truth i seek….

 

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free of you & me…


Let armageddon loose on our imagined little empire of dreams …
Leave no trace of hope or ‘maybe someday’, please be honest with me …
Don’t leave any pieces bleeding love through…
Crush me until ashes of anger is all I have for you

And if you can’t do it, then I’ll do this to you…
There’s not a chance in the world & there’s nothing you can do
I won’t even wear my mask of tears to this unceremonious goodbye,
Set fire to your bullshit dreams & watch the embers cool to white…

I could say sorry, I could say maybe someday,
I could even pull out just friends… but not today…
This is the last you’ll ever hear of me,
& no… no I am not sorry. I’m finally free

 

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guilt mask… be mean


Don’t use your “sorry”s & tears as a clever little mask,
to make you feel less guilty for how much you’re really glad…
inside a small part of you is breaking free to fly…
don’t leave my soul with dangling questions, don’t cry…

Look, stop living in denial, we can not ever be just friends
And you know my heart is already aching, I don’t want to do this again…
I’m already bleeding, so put me out of my misery,
Use a knife, use a gun, use a hammer, use kerosene…

Leave our future in shreds of ruined miles of tire…
Leave no trace of hope or maybe, set ‘us’ on fire…
Don’t leave any pieces bleeding love through…
Crush me until ashes of anger is all I have for you

I remember seeing your eyes slowly stop following me from afar,
realizing the distance was to great for me to keep grip of your heart…
Just stop trying to be all nice, about killing you & me…
Do me justice & baby please; crush my heart & dreams: be mean…

 

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but i didn’t love you


I loved how much you loved me…
but someone else can too…
I loved all the attention…
but someday, someone else will listen too…

I loved that you were so loyal
committed & true…
only problem was…
that i was not actually in love with you…

I couldn’t stand how you
could cook better than me,
and that you couldn’t even name
all the NFL teams….

it drove me insane,
how your life plans always changed
and that you cared as much about fashion
as I did about climbing the range…

you were an amazing best friend…
and you truly were always there for me…
but at least for right now baby,
you & I were not made to be…

 

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