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Tag Archives: break ups

please fall in love with my smile again


and i feel cold as the warmth of any love we had fades away
i feel alone in the light, in the dark, and at the end of every day,
but i won’t show the tears I’ve cried, they aren’t who i am..
i’ll only laugh, so maybe you will fall in love with my smile again…

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just let go


i just wanted to hold you here,
and you just wanted to go…
i just wanted a loyal heart
and you jsut wanted to do it alone

i guess sometimes, it’s better to just let go

 

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missed a little bit


you think you’re so smooth with your walk
you got those cowboy eyes that gaze into souls
and with deceptive genuinity you caught me off guard
you made me think you could fill all my holes…

but heart breakers like you don’t really care…
you think I’m being dramatic, or clingy, or a prude…
you’ve already made me into this cookie cutter girl in your mind,
i know how it works, because i’ve done it all too…

but this time, i was going to step out
and explore regions of vulnerability i’v yet to explore…
but i should have been a little more careful
not to be overly eager to give everything more

so you won it, i guess
i kind of fell for you just a little bit
not as much as i thought at first…
but enough, that you’ll be missed…

 

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let the ship sink


So why are we even trying?
we both know that we’e wasting our time

jumping ship and watching it sink
leaves a bitter taste, and salt on open cuts…
but let’s be honest neither of us wants to be sailing…
and we’re both too stubborn to admit we’re sick to our guts

So let’s just throw in the towel, don’t lie
we will never be friends, and never be more…
somewhere there, we ended up in icey waters,
so let’s jump ship, while we’re still close to the shore…

I wanted so badly to love you, i guess…
everybody wants to have that someone who is theirs,
but we were both using each other to feed our pride,
i think we need to admit, that neither of us cares….

let’s save our hearts and foolish prides tonight…
kiss one last time and wish each other goodbye…
it doesn’t have to be a stormy night for ships to sink…
it was a clear full moon, when our love sank to the deep…

 

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Alone


Alone,

i’m finding a new strength…
that he could never provide,
i can finally stretch out
and i know that i’ll survive…

I see your world falling apart
since we left each other’s lives,
& mine is shooting like a star
so many wishes have arrived…

I almost feel bad
that I feel so great being through…
i finally can sleep in peace…
no more lies of ‘i love you too’

Alone, i can write so many songs
i find new inspirations all around…
when you aren’t keeping me up at night
or guilt tripping me into staying down…

alone.
i can do anything alone.
i want to be alone.
just leave me alone
i love just being alone.

 

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I used him…


I can see it clearly now:
my name on caller I.D.
you click ‘ignore’
after slightly hesitating…

Because you want to speak,
but you know I’ll be angry, still…
ask you if you’ve done it yet,
& I won’t drop it, & i never did, until…

it was over…

You never could really tell me ‘no’
Waited until I became a burden of smiles…
Of course, you wanted to come every time,
of course, it was worth all of your whiles…

It was no problem to pick that up,
you’d come early & help me finish work…
you’d stay late if i just asked you to,
& looking back, i feel like a jerk…

I made it too hard for you to bear,
I made you promise; made you swear,
crippled you with tests of trust…
but in the end, tests aren’t for love…

Until one day, your blue eyes hazed…
you said you were really afraid…
because you were trying so badly,
to always make & keep me happy…

but it would never be enough,
you knew I would always need more…
You felt I was using you too much,
and you would miss me to your core…

but you knew i wouldn’t miss you,
it was the best for both of us, you said…
I said I was sorry, and you were right,
and we could just be great friends instead…

We sat there on the hood of your car…
awkward silence a week later in the dark…
You asked me if we did the right thing?
I lied & said I’d never felt so much peace…

I still don’t know why I lied…
Guess I was afraid of using u another time…

But you were wrong, because I did miss you…

& we never did become ‘just friends’ to tell the truth…

 

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Has my river of poetry run dry? (writers block?)


Have I lost all inspiration?
have I said all I can say?
Has my river of poetry run dry?
or will it flood again someday?

I feel like I”m writing the same poem
over & over a hundred times
just with different words here & there
but the message is cut & dry:

I’m getting over a wonderful boy
after I said no, & moved out west,
i regret this choice, but have to accept it
& move on with my internal quest…

I have faith there will be someone
someday out there for me,
in the meantime it’s just rough waters,
though I love my family…

The world around me is gorgeous
The people, someday they’ll understand.
in the mean time, my poor pen,
has got to be tired of being in my hands…

It’s just writing the same thing every night
and it irks me to have lost that spark
am I really that mono-toned & boring?
what ever happened to my creative heart?

It’s like trying to get a car to drive,
as it’s sputtering out of gas,
“c’mon baby, drive just a little farther!”
as i push another poem out fast…

it’s like skipping a stone across a river
but knowing it’s going to sink…
I searched this shore as best i could,
& that rock was the very best, i think…

It’s like trying to sing a song,
when the wind is howling over me,
no words can I hear any more…
I’m loosing my poetry…

I know I was never truly the source
it’s like somebody whispers words in my ear.
I don’t know if they decided to take a vacation?
or if I’m just too stubborn now to hear?

 

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