Tag Archives: forgiveness

too much coal

There is a darkness to my soul that is soaking in
a coldness that makes me back away again…
they can’t be trusted, i never should have opened up,
build more solid walls, turn away from their love…

i’ve tried so hard to forgive and to let go and be soft
but the magma boils in my heart and my words become lost
the one who i wanted so badly to love me and to be proud
is the one who seems to have an agenda to bring me down…

so love your pretty little lies you carved into the photo book,
to church, wear a pretty dress and your most reverent look.
While I apply sparkly pink eye shadow and charm the elite,
i’ll float around claiming we are a perfect mother daughter team…

but behind the giggles and closed doors, and empty emails exchanged,
there is the dark past, with ghosts and wicked roars of rage,
a chilling lack of satisfaction and an empty black hole
forget the healing, there’s too much baggage, too much coal.

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Posted by on November 25, 2014 in (negative), from past journals, life


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The link among mankind: eternity waits

We’ve all been broken in some form
And yet, all built, along the way
We all have many sins & regrets to date
And we all are still alive enough to change

I don’t care to where you go, or whence you’re from
You are the epitome of creation perfected & loved,
You are human, forgive yourself, forgive humanity,
Embrace your life, embrace your God given strength

Then fill your days with faith
in the wisdom of all that you don’t know…
Life is too short for regrets and hatred & guilt,
Let it go, move on, be human, & learn to rebuild.

Nothing lasts forever
Save the soul & heart of faith.
save the gentle acceptance of burden,
eternally rewarded, eternally saved…


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Your forgiveness & your love…
your loyalty… your trust…best friends.
i’ve never met anyone like you in my life
and i’m sure i never will ever again.

I will do anything & everything to show you.
I will be yours forever & even more…
I can’t believe I was ever such a fool,
as to not know, but now I’m sure…

You are mine, i’m claiming you now.
& i’ll be yours, through & through.
no more questions, no more challenges,
I’ve narrowed it down to no one or you.

Look, i know i go crazy with the distance,
but i still haven’t left you yet, have I?
and i know i shouldn’t use it as a threat,
i promise I’ll work to be better, more than just try…

i love you. i want you.
& if you can’t love me, no one can.
i miss you, i wish you,
were here right now, holding my hand…


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burst of regret

Fading into the sunset
my stomach knots all burst today…
and I made threats i didn’t mean
said things i ought never say….

and as soon as i said it,
i saw your face & my heart broke,
never felt so awful & wrong &
and I felt the tears pint up in my throat…

Oh maybe I’m crazy…
Heaven knows I didn’t mean that
you shook your had sadly,
said your doing all you can & then that…

you’ve done everything to show me
that you love me inside out,
and if that isn’t enough for me,
well then, that’s for me to figure out…

I couldn’t say sorry enough times.
wish you were here to hold you close
i can’t believe that you forgave me again…
said that for you, I should trust & know…

you’ll always love me.
never doubt that your love is true.
I wish i had you here
i promise i want to see this through…


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Strength is more than power

Stability is more than standing up. Strength is more than power. & Hope is more than dreams.
Stability means being able to stand up on your own. Hold others up. Catch someone else when they fall. Stability means balance and flexibility.
Strength takes more than accepting responsibility. It takes more than acting heroically when called on. It means actively seeking chances to offer help to others in need, even before requested, or asked for. Sometimes strength involves more than just the ability to carry oneself through hard times, and help others… Sometimes, it means accepting help from someone else, sucking up one’s pride and allowing another to assist you. It also takes strength to let go. It’s not all about holding on, it can be releasing a grudge, a bad relationship, a hurt/pain, a lost loved one, or even just a bad habit… sometimes it’s letting go that proves our strength.
And hope is not just dreams. After all, “dreams are not something to wait for, they are something to work for.” But hope involves something much deeper and greater than a dream. It takes a vision, and the drive to pursue it. Hope requires perseverance, dedication, drive, ambition, and initiative. It also needs to be flexible. See, hope in the future may mean, letting go of a dream, or adjusting a plan, and yet still believing it is for the best. Hope in the future -is not hope in a dream, but hope in goodness, hope in the purpose of a dream, which is ultimate satisfaction, contentment, and happiness. Hope requires forgiveness, vision, trust in the Lord, and the resolve not to give up. Hope is more than a dream; it is a daily act of faith.


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