Tag Archives: guilt

Quest to purge my heart

The freedom is overwhelming
when you realize you can do what’s right…
Lift the guilt off your shoulders
as you forgive & apologize…


going back through old grudges,
writing them on little notes,
and then one by one i light them on fire
cleansing my heart as i let it go…

looking up the old names
of folks that i wronged long ago…
and sending them words of regret and sorry
that we both know i truly owe…

and then one by one with those now
who i have shown a double standard to…
i release them from the strings i held
show them my sin asked to be excused…

humiliated and humbled,
But I’m sick of guilty lies and truths…
so i am on a quest to purge my soul
and renew that peace i once knew


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child, YOU are the fool

So you think you know love, oh dear
So you think you can save my cynical soul…
Leave me alone if you please Mr. weird,
For I am the expert, & you are the fool…

You are the fool who calls himself ‘romantic’
You are the fool who believes in ‘first sight’
You are the fool who thinks that ‘forever’
Is made up of cliché feelings and rhymes…

I am the expert who has dated many a man
Who statistically speaking, had followed a plan
Bitterness and guilt mixed with anger and hurt pride,
Oh foolish boy, I have the right to patronize….


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guilt mask… be mean

Don’t use your “sorry”s & tears as a clever little mask,
to make you feel less guilty for how much you’re really glad…
inside a small part of you is breaking free to fly…
don’t leave my soul with dangling questions, don’t cry…

Look, stop living in denial, we can not ever be just friends
And you know my heart is already aching, I don’t want to do this again…
I’m already bleeding, so put me out of my misery,
Use a knife, use a gun, use a hammer, use kerosene…

Leave our future in shreds of ruined miles of tire…
Leave no trace of hope or maybe, set ‘us’ on fire…
Don’t leave any pieces bleeding love through…
Crush me until ashes of anger is all I have for you

I remember seeing your eyes slowly stop following me from afar,
realizing the distance was to great for me to keep grip of your heart…
Just stop trying to be all nice, about killing you & me…
Do me justice & baby please; crush my heart & dreams: be mean…


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The link among mankind: eternity waits

We’ve all been broken in some form
And yet, all built, along the way
We all have many sins & regrets to date
And we all are still alive enough to change

I don’t care to where you go, or whence you’re from
You are the epitome of creation perfected & loved,
You are human, forgive yourself, forgive humanity,
Embrace your life, embrace your God given strength

Then fill your days with faith
in the wisdom of all that you don’t know…
Life is too short for regrets and hatred & guilt,
Let it go, move on, be human, & learn to rebuild.

Nothing lasts forever
Save the soul & heart of faith.
save the gentle acceptance of burden,
eternally rewarded, eternally saved…


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Forgetting the fire

That said, it may be easier now.
to move on & love the world.
without that gnawing guilt,
that i should be there as your girl.

Im sure i’ll write a few sad poems
missing you has become my pastime…
but this world is grand & intriguing
& honestly, there is so very much more to life…

more to life than finding ‘the one’…
to share your love & joy….
I have to find that love & joy first
before i can share it with any boy.

Loosing you is kind of bitter-sweet…
like a soldier coming home to retire…
he isn’t quite sure how to act here,
it isn’t that easy to forget the fire…

I may not always be strong
but I’ve always been strong enough.
i may not have a romance of splendor,
but i have family & dear friends I love.

I may make a many MANY mistakes
but i learn my lesson from each & every one.
i can honestly say, i am wiser as a survivor,
than before I had done all the bad I’ve done.

The mountains glisten in the sun’s glow
like the sparkly dust, off a fairy’s wings..
oh, honey, the world has so much more than you
in it, just awaiting my discovery…



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Dear Friend, i’m here for you…

Dear friend, you called me up to say
the other night, you made a grave mistake,
you shrug in shame, when i asked if you’re okay
Dear friend, it doesn’t have to be this way…

Listen, I am no angel, i am no saint
i am nobody to preach on faith…
But even I, who am just making it through
can see, you’ve lost your faith in you…

Listen, you are strong when you choose
you are smart, witty, & caring too
but, you’ve lost conviction in the truth
you need to back you up & get you through…

I’m not telling you what to believe in
i’m not saying you should make it up
i’m just saying, find something to live for
besides, these one night guilty drunks…

No, I am not ‘the one’ for you,
but, yes I will always be here…
dear, friend, not every love,
is the kind enhanced by a beer…

Dear friend, it kills me to see you falling
dear friend, it kills me to see you cry,
but more than anything else, my heart bleeds
when i see you blindly trashing your life…


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Blanket of shadows

From ashes & rubble I arise,
With an inner longing for more.
But, i have an unnatural distrust
Learned from too much before.

My God, my God, I’m sorry.
So sorry for all I’ve done.
But even more than this,
For the person that I’ve let myself become.

I never really got it like this before-
Cuz it’s no longer just one time.
It has morphed into a refuge,
A safe-house, killing me alive.

Wish I could drive faster than my guilt,
& leave it here alone.
But, I’ve learned it’s just a shadow
A shadow that I can never out-grow.

You can’t see a shadow in darkness-
But, don’t be fooled, you’re simply blind…
It is just a massive shadow,
That is a blanket over my life…

I’m all wrapped in my blanket..
as it chokes me from sunlight,
rocking back & forth, alone
my comfort shall be my demise.


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