Tag Archives: happens

Drowning in an empty tub

She wouldn’t have noticed you, i’m sure.
but she know’s exactly what she has in you,
because her interest was officially spurred
when she followed my eyes to you across the room.

and i’m laying naked in an empty bathtub,
drunk on tears, and hungover on regrets.
too exhausted to bother turning the water on,
to clean up and pretend like i forget…

So you want me to come and see you
end up with the girl of your ‘dreams’
sent me an email and told me if you had known,
long before her, it would have been me.

And I’m swept into moments i let pass,
when a kiss would have sufficed to say
all that my words weren’t when i’d just laugh
so happy to just spend the time with you every day.

and it’s my fault i let it all go by,
you thought we were friends, and decided it was fine.
i should be happy, even if you’re not mine…
maybe, i’m not your friend anymore this time.

i just feel like a stranger.
i just feel like a lost girl.
and she looks like a barbie
and im caught in barbie world.

i sit up, and let hot water steam all around.
clean up, do my hair, my make up all sweet,
guess, i’ll show up, and pretend that I
that I am okay, that i’m okay with everything…


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clock watching…

I remember your silence
that almost broke my heart…
you said if that’s how long it takes,
then, you would wait to start…

I remember the guilt & hurt I felt,
weren’t you happy for me somehow?
thought it was so unfair of you
but, believe me, I get it now….

It really is best, I know that,
some experience abroad & here,
but somehow that extra 6 months you say,
seem like you’re asking for 6 extra years…

I want what’s best for you,
so I won’t tell you to turn the job down…
but I can’t bring myself to speak,
so the silence is mine, & I get it now…

I get the questions & answers
when what’s best for you is what’s worse for me
the silent shock like getting winded,
750 more days of clock-watching…


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get over it.

Suck it up! life happens,
i just wasn’t into you…
stop trying to villeinize me,
we both know that’s not true…

Of course, you are always the victim,
everyone else uses you, i’m sure…
no offense, your nothing worth using,
so get off your pitiful ‘high’ horse…

there is only one common factor
through all the crisis that you face,
you wanna say that all girls are the same,
but honey, you are your own disgrace…

You threw your heart into the mix,
before you even knew who i was,
i’m sorry it hurts your feelings,
but life is only as life does….

So please just let me go in peace,
stop telling me i ruined your life…
i’m not going to come back to you in pity,
you’re just burning bridges out of spite…

btw, this is not about my best friend, now boyfriend. this is about another guy i didn’t go out with/broke up with before it was official, because i knew i didn’t love him….evidently, not soon enough…


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