Tag Archives: help

don’t let yourself go

Could it be that ‘the one’ is just a joke
pick some one and love them, never let them go…?
find someone and find a way to make them laugh,
why must we complicate it so much more than that?

oh i was such an angry girl,
i just wanted to fire back at the world,
such a lost dream, such a hurt hope,
such a beautiful story that nobody ever wrote…

gotta tell myself, i’m fine now, im really fine.
just the way i am, even if i know it’s a lie.
look in the mirror, learn to love the face i see,
learn to love all the hurt, the eyes are hiding…

learn to love and forgive all the sins i tried…
learn to cry and trust someone again sometime,
maybe stop building walls up so very high?
worst case- they break me, but what’s another time?

stand up strait, it’s gonna be alright
i’m just fine, every wrinkle is where it goes.
i’m beautiful and i’m a good person at the core,
pick myself and love me, never let me go…

don’t let yourself go.


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oh spinner of the wind…

it’s too big… it’s too bright
it’s all too wrong, and just a little too right…
i could do this, or i could be that…
there’s too many requirements I always lack…

Oh twister of fate, oh keeper of stars,
oh holder of the ocean in the beach’s arms,
oh spinner of wind, oh painter of trees,
oh hear the distant voice of a lost little seed…

plant me in your garden, or water me into the wild…
Give me the spirit to see all of this as a child,
with wide open eyes beaming with hope in tomorrow,
give me thier energy, to be happy in sorrow.

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Posted by on November 22, 2014 in explore, Future


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why me?

I have not found the secret to life
nor can I explain all of the reasons why
In fact, I don’t really even understand myself,
so why on Earth, am I the one you want to help?


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becomming an evacuee

Day 1-
“Oh my gosh, how awful!
The smoke is hurting my eyes,
did they really need to close the highway?
I’ll have to postpone my shopping time.”

Day 2-
“um, the fire is still burning,
& it’s billowing sheets of smoke our way…
Staying glued to the news, alarming,
but grateful it isn’t us at least today…”

Day 3-
Now we are on pre-evacuation,
but I doubt it will ever come this close,
I guess decide what you would pack,
but we probably won’t actually have to go…”

Day 4-
I guess we should make plans to go tomorrow
and all of a sudden that red line on the map
is within 1.5 miles of our home & my bed,
But now i am too much in shock to pack…

Day 5-
the sherrif rings our doorbell
informs us we have 1 hour to get out…
Groceries, towels, journals, heirlooms,
are all stuffed in as fireman’s voices shout…

I look over the hill as we drive…
I can see the flames just over the trees…
I’ve seen this before in movies…
but it wasn’t my home, my life on the brink of burning…

evacuated. scared.
helpless & afraid.
thankful for life, but, how do you live
when everything in your life is at stake?

My work is evacuated,
we have nothing to do but wait…
our house may be fine,
or my carload, may be all that’s saved…

God help all of us here,
all those in Colorado & the west today…
dear bloggers if you have a moment,
please send a prayer our way


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circumstancial love

google quote: “If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus.

I think about this sometimes & wonder. Wonder how capable of love I am. I guess I’m good within my family. But with guys, even my best friend. I have my restrictions. if he cheats, he knows I”d end it, for example. Is this wrong? I mean, I just want him to know ahead of time. & i need to know that he’s trust worthy.

but should I not have said that? is it wrong to say i couldn’t live in Seattle forever? I grew up with sunshine, i need that. i guess my love is very circumstantial. God help me.


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oh God be in this…

Oh, God I hope you’re here
behind the avalanche of hope & fear…
because my heart is quickly falling down,
off my solid throne of regal doubt….

Oh, I don’t even know what’s from where?
lusts or meaningful promises from near?
trust or actual love rooted from afar?
I simply don’t know where to lend my heart…

And God, if you’re not too preoccupied,
hearing prayers & healing tears the world has cried,
Oh please send me some clarity of the soul,
show me whether to reveal it to him in whole?

& give me the courage to speak up if it’s from you,
and I know i will need the words to speak the truth…
but most of all, dearest beloved of mine, true…
Please if you can do it, help him love me too…


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Survivor; try me.

I’m definitely the weakest.
but i always will survive.
maybe just scratch by,
but alive is still alive…

You ask me if i’m ready
to really add something more
i can’t help but kind of laugh
shrug & mumble, “sure”…

Try me.

i’m like that scrawny kid
who just doesn’t know when to give up
And whenever the school bully punches him
he just falls, then get’s back up….

Try me.

i’m like a piece of grass,
you can step on me again & again;
but a heart shall never break,
as long as it knows how to bend…

Try me.

I may look like I know nothing
about life or hard times,
but, let me give you a quick taste,
just a small dose of my life…

I’ve been stranded in the Rocky mountains,
I’ve lived in a Mayan village for weeks…
I survived being held at gun point…
All of a sudden, im not feeling so weak…

I’ve gone through family tragedy,
watching a brother & a sister both try
to steal their lives from the world…
And, never once in public did I cry…

I came down with Scarlet Fever
& pneumonia at the same time,
but just like when i had two dear friends die,
I always find a way to survive.

I’ve lived on my own before,
working graveyard shifts to make ends meet,
it was nothing glamorous at all,
but i made enough for rent & food to eat.

I’ve had my share of being mistreated
by guys in ways i won’t write.
i’ve had my share of leaving all those
i love & moving on with my life…

I’m not saying that i do it perfect,
i’m not even saying that i do it right.
all i’m saying is that I can do it…
All I’m saying, is that I survive.

After all, I have already been tried.


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