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Tag Archives: I miss you

my heart is melting out


my heart is slowly melting out
into tears of crimson need…
staining all my journal pages
like the glass of wine I raise to drink…

my frustration leaks through cracks
like lava shifting out of grinding tectonic plates
gushing and hardening over the flowers
leaving my world in a shiny layer of grey…

my envy boils beneath my stone face
and like the scarlet afterglow of the sky
the vermilion bleeds out the wish of my heart
and cleaves just to turn back time

to before I chose to say goodbye…

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i flew too far, you flew too fast…


I flew too far, you flew too fast,
we both agreed, we’d never last,
only took a moment to turn us into the past,
costing us both a lifetime of looking back…

you chose the East, I chose the West,
seemed no point to consider a nest,
but since that day when we both left,
every view since then has been second best…

because after having such a perfect friend,
switching places, breaking each other’s winds,
can you ever fly with another again?
without all the excitement becoming pretend?

and could I have known how hard the channel’s winds would rush?…
could you have realized how deeply your heart would be crushed?
oh if we had known, even across the globe, that there was no escape…
and that hardly any one else is bold enough to fly these days..?.

well if i’m honest, i’d rather fly with you…
but you flew to the sun, and I, i flew to the moon,
it was like that dream, when you wake up too soon,
never got to resolve, never found my way back to you…

 

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when its finally mine


and the stars are mine
for the very first time
you know they circle our world,
or at least that’s how it is in our eyes…

and this is the farthest from home
anyone i’ve known has ever gone
i’m living the dream…
if adventure is the measure of these things

this is all i ever wanted
in the deepest parts within
oh i’ve craved this and dreamt this
and planned every part of it

and i told them all to walk away
& i told a few to maybe wait
because this was ‘more important than love’
oh looking back, what a fool i was…

because in the blue waters
of the far southern waves
i see your eyes, and
then white sands are your face,

and in the rising Andes peaks,
i remember how high my hopes reached
and in the starlit night, ‘neath the southern cross
i remember that night when we drove, till the roads stopped

and in the foreign friends i meet,
my eyes go glossy every time i meet a Sweed…
and when the lovers all cuddle neath the setting sun,
i wonder exactly just what i’ve done?

Can i ever fall in love again?
oh adventure is amazing, but i can’t pretend
i don’t miss you everywhere i go…
oh im far too content just being alone….

 

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i need more than your memory tonight


Honey you know how i feel
sometimes life seems so unreal
but please don’t tell me it will all be fine
cuz, i need more than your words tonight

Oh, i need you

Summers, always seem so sweet
as long, as I have dear friends with me
And from the city lights, you stole me away
took my hand, dancing over frozen lakes

oh, you promised me the truth…

Winter came and with it, goodbye
I’d never felt so wrong, in one night…
now all you are today is a memory of faith
someday, i’ll find someone as kind & brave…

oh, but i still want you

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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forgiveness…again


Your forgiveness & your love…
your loyalty… your trust…best friends.
i’ve never met anyone like you in my life
and i’m sure i never will ever again.

I will do anything & everything to show you.
I will be yours forever & even more…
I can’t believe I was ever such a fool,
as to not know, but now I’m sure…

You are mine, i’m claiming you now.
& i’ll be yours, through & through.
no more questions, no more challenges,
I’ve narrowed it down to no one or you.

Look, i know i go crazy with the distance,
but i still haven’t left you yet, have I?
and i know i shouldn’t use it as a threat,
i promise I’ll work to be better, more than just try…

i love you. i want you.
& if you can’t love me, no one can.
i miss you, i wish you,
were here right now, holding my hand…

 

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loveless summer… trying not to be jealous


Loveless summer.
that’s what this is going to be.
and I know this sounds really shallow
but I can’t help but think…

I’ve never spent a summer alone
you know I have guys calling all the time…
and I know you’re best friend is moving in with you
but I wish you wouldn’t tell me it’s all fine.

I guess I sound jealous or clingy.
and it’s not that i think i’m better or anything.
and even if our relationship is on hold,
don’t you start taking me for granted, please

As your best friend, yes you can count on me.
but for a relationship you have got to put in more
than being late for skypes & seeing old friends
I know I question everything, but I’ve got to be sure

I’ve got to know that you really want this
it’s not too late to be just friends, you know?
I hate not having you here to read your face.
But I’m being silly, or at least you tell me so.

You say you wish I was by your side, day & night
you say you wish i wouldn’t doubt or be insecure.
you say you promise I am your only one chosen,
you do all you can with words to try to reassure…

But actions speak far louder than words,
Planning a trip to visit me every six weeks,
is not a sufficient replacement for day to day.
Maybe tonight, you’ll be the one to remind me?

So your best friend from Europe
is crashed on your couch,
and I’m thousands of miles away
fighting for your time like an overlooked mouse.

I know it’s just one summer,
but it’s going to drive me insane.
loveless summer I’m dreading,
it doesn’t deserve the ‘summer’ name.

 

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more pictures/ get better soon


I looked through the pictures
we took when i was with you…
I keep thinking to myself,
how did this ever come to be true?

All I can think,
as I shuffle through,
is that i want more…
more of me & you.

I want to see you tomorrow
I want to hug you goodnight…
The separation of miles,
just doesn’t seem to be right…

Leaving us all with hunger,
a hunger for what should be…
I want hundreds of more pictures,
pictures of you, waving, smiling…

But who am i kidding?
pictures will never be enough to do
& i will happily throw them all away,
if I could only have back you.

I Love you, angel. get better soon.

 

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Don’t you dare forget, (you are an angel)


A wooden clicking fan
hung slightly askew,
In a hot quaint cabin
spent that summer with you…

I remember your eyes,
how they looked up to me,
Now, you’ve grown up,
and you are taller than me…

I remember on the rope-swing,
how you would squeal with glee,
as you waved in flight to me,
before splashing into ripples of green…

Oh little darlin’
Don’t you remember that too?
Remember catching minnows,
& the gelato shop i brought you to?

Don’t you remember dancing in the rain?
& me making smoothies all summer through?
Well if you don’t remember anything else,
please remember that I love & adore you…

I remember one night,
you told me you wanted to be a saint.
Meredith, you know you still can be,
it is never ever too late…

Remember me brushing your
sweet little hairs with care?
remember me coaching your
soccer team with Dad there?

Dearest child, i will be honest,
i miss you so much i cry…
But, you should know things change,
just give it effort, prayers, & time

Please don’t tell me
about how sorry you are…
because we all have struggles,
And at 16, life is especially hard.

When i was 16 it was your adoration
that brought me through…
so there is no chance in the world,
i shall ever stop loving you…

I remember, baby girl…
before the troubles beget…
so my sweet angel sister,
don’t you dare forget…

you are still my angel.

 

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Lost Wonders of the world


She was his lost wonder
He watched her laugh in awe,
but now she’s moved on
leaving his love wild & raw…

He was his father’s little wonder
the miracle baby that grew
into a strong lad of 18,
until he left for something new….

I was your crazy wonder…
the one who brought you back to life
you were the treasure i never treasured
so it’s fitting my heart feels the stab of a knife

But the greatest of the wonders
the world has lost in haste….
is the love I never valued
that you gave me so unafraid…

I wish i could be like you
believe we’ll ever be united, but then.
with thousands of miles between,
I’ve lost you, & I’ll never wander again…

©Lilyanna Danielovitch 2012

 

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my tears are questions…


I can’t remember the last time I actually cried..
the last time, before tonight, that is.
Where silent tears streamed down my cheeks
& echoed among the questions within…

“Should I have left?
did I do the right thing?
did i take a step backwards?
or was I afraid of staying?

I left behind the man for whom
I care greatly in some way or another…
What does he think about me tonight?
or does he think of me at all?” i wonder

My tears are questions, not fears
my tears are regrets, not hurt.
my tears are sorrows, not anger,
my tears are gold in worth.

The tears have come and gone…
in the silence, my tears were a tune…
while they played ‘Memories’ on piano…
I was only remembering you….

 

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