RSS

Tag Archives: letter

Written Truth


we need to stop being dancers on a stage.
Stop reciting lines and auditioning for fate…
we need to stop planning moves like a chess game,
using pawns to corner queens or call check mate,

Enough I quit, i can’t be this fake.
Life is too real. there’s too much at stake.
I’ve been lying to myself and to you…
I am not apathetic, i feel it all, i really do.

I don’t want to be their dancers on a stage.
I don’t want to hear them give us a score or a grade.
please, can you just take my hand and let’s go…
walk out of this script and into the unknown…

Let’s take off the costumes and armor we secretly wear,
to protect our pride from having any shame to bear…
honestly, it breaks my heart a little every time i hear
you question us, when i tell you my fears…

i really want you to just re-convince me we’ll be fine.
i want you to embrace me when there’s no one in sight
i want you to never need nor expect the world’s approval for us,
i really want you. i really want us. i really want to trust.

i really want you to never doubt us, no matter what may…
i really want you to tell any other girl you can’t because of my name.
i want you to defend us like a warrior fighting for my heart.
i wanted you to be patient and wait to rekindle that spark…

i want us to carve our own story in the stone of time.
i want it solid, i want it real, i want it genuine and right.
i want you to stop listening to words, and to hear my heart.
i want you to stop heeding the doubts and the insecurity of sharks

that feast on knowing they rule the waters of the sea.
i don’t care about dethroning fools, or spiting seductive thieves.
i don’t care about proving anyone wrong or right about anything.
honestly, all i care about, is if you really want this same thing.

Because when you doubt us, i still believe.
but it feels like whenever i doubt us, you want to leave.
i don’t want to hold you with charms or even with feelings ,
because charms wear off, and feelings are ever changing.

i need to know that when i doubt, you’ll be the strength.
that when i push you away, you come back and capture me.
i need to know that you aren’t just in this because of feelings.
i need to know that you are in this, because it’s where you want to be.

honestly, right now im the weakest ive been in my life.
and i’ve found it so hard to be vulnerable at this time.
im not writing this for the past, but to bare what i desire.
i want to really give us a chance, and stop flirting with fires.

I don’t ever want to use jealousy or competition for us
and i don’t want to have a reason to question our trust.
from the time you get here, if this is what you are ready for too.
let’s stop playing games, let’s stop questioning through…

and as for me, perhaps the greatest lie i’ve lived for the past few years.
is that i don’t know how to love, or that i don’t know how to care.
if you can truly be as real, and as genuine, as who i believe you are.
then i give you my word, eventually you could capture my heart.

For you’ll never find a heart that can go as deep or as far.
that can cling on to hopes that are no more than distant stars.
that can give, comfort, warm, hold, strengthen, and glow like mine
but i shall only go there once. so i’ve been waiting for the right time.

no seed bears fruits, nor flowers bloom, nor tree does grow
when it is out of soil, rain, and sunshine doesn’t glow…
no violin can play a song with half it’s strings,
let’s stop counting all the problems, and just fix these things.

and if my past has too many or too dark of shadows,
if you find my weaknesses outweigh all my strengths,
if you just want someone who is less of a battle to love
or even if you just decided that we aren’t meant to be.

please figure that out and tell me sooner than later.
it will hurt, but i can swallow it and i’ll find someone again.
i’d rather it be you. i’d rather really give us a real chance.
but i can’t be the only one who believes everything.

i know i think in riddles, rhymes, and take a lot of time.
i know you like to jump into action, and say how you feel.
but please think this one out in the depth of your heart,
and whatever you decide, come down and make it real.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Friend, i’m here for you…


Dear friend, you called me up to say
the other night, you made a grave mistake,
you shrug in shame, when i asked if you’re okay
Dear friend, it doesn’t have to be this way…

Listen, I am no angel, i am no saint
i am nobody to preach on faith…
But even I, who am just making it through
can see, you’ve lost your faith in you…

Listen, you are strong when you choose
you are smart, witty, & caring too
but, you’ve lost conviction in the truth
you need to back you up & get you through…

I’m not telling you what to believe in
i’m not saying you should make it up
i’m just saying, find something to live for
besides, these one night guilty drunks…

No, I am not ‘the one’ for you,
but, yes I will always be here…
dear, friend, not every love,
is the kind enhanced by a beer…

Dear friend, it kills me to see you falling
dear friend, it kills me to see you cry,
but more than anything else, my heart bleeds
when i see you blindly trashing your life…

 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Bottle Tossed in the Ocean


There’s a bottle tossed in the ocean
My heart is the note inside
Seeing destruction & storms all around me
But safe in my own little life

I wrote a plea for help
& desperately corked myself in
knowing my only chance to find it
would be a life or death risk

& the winds rage
& the moon casts spells,
the lightning strikes
& storms swell

the dolphins leap
& the waves roar
till my bottle is hurled
onto a jagged shore

gripped by the clutches of shells & rocks
held captive at the mercy of the sea
….here it rests, & here I wait
for someone to come find & rescue me.

From my crevice, looking out-
I’ve seen so many sights & scenes.
My sighs are lost amid the ocean’s roar
I just hope someday, someone sees

Someone climbing & scaling
Will see me stuck in the cliff
& uncorking the bottle unroll,
& read the message my heart has bled
onto that sacred scroll

oh, climber, oh fisher, oh man of the cliffs
oh fighter, oh hunter, oh whoever he is
please read & understand my heart’s message
& if you can, please, deliver it

deliver it to whom it might concern
deliver it to where the answer lies;
then tell him to find a ship & set sail
to where my empty body tries

where I try to live each day for you
remaining loyal, remaining true
as I try to stay pure so that when you arrive
I have everything to offer you; or, so my empty body tries

Someday my heart will be read & set free
Someday, my beloved will come to me
Someday, oh someday, I will no longer be
In a lonely bottle, tossed in the sea.

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

how to love me… (letter to future husband)


Dear my future husband, I’m going through a lot right now.
I’m sorry for some of the ways I’ve been behaving recently. I am changing now, though. I guess I’m glad I haven’t met you yet. I’m glad your not here to see this. . .

I wonder where you are right now? I wonder what you’re going through. I hope you are handling it better than me. Don’t worry though, someday we’ll have each other.

I’m going to give you some advice for how to love me. Because I am kind of crazy…

———HOW TO LOVE ME———

When I get really quiet and walk away- that means my feelings are hurt. Follow me & hold me until I speak.

When I get stressed out & overwhelmed, just dig in & help… (oh, ice cream usually helps with this too)

When I say I don’t trust you… I just want you to convince & reassure me I can, not ask why!

And when I look at you deeply, holding your stare, I want you to say “i love you” first…

If someone says something bad about me, please defend me. Defend our love..

And when I’m trembling mad & tell you I’m done, and for you to get out & leave…. DONT YOU DARE. . . I want you to look me in the eye, walk right over to me, hold me strong and steady, & kiss me a promise never to leave…

I want you to love me forever. Loyalty means so much to me.

I love music. I’d love to be serenaded =)…. but only if ur actually good at it.

I love adventures. every now and then, can u take me to a lake-side picnic? or to other natural romantic outtings? i guess city stuff is okay, but i love the just me & you stuff the most.

I appreciate gifts because they are signs that you thought of me when i wasn’t there. even if it’s just a flower you picked, i love it. I love being reassured. I grew up in a family that affirms each other a lot, & I’ll need you to do this for me.

I want a big family. Family means a lot to me. I want you to help me care for the kids, get them in bed & stuff. I want us each to spend quality time with the kids, each other, & as a whole family. Please cherish these moments

Help me take a break from the kids & family every now & then to go visit friends, or go to yoga or something.

Most of all though- love me. Hold my hand in public. you can kiss me in front of the kids in the car… I want you to put your arm around me all the time. & i want to hear you say it… over & over & over again.

———And for you——-
I shall dress up to look nice & make you proud… not growing sloppy over time.

I shall make sure you still get your poker nights with the guys or football games & what not…

I shall be supportive of all your dreams… and do all i can to help make them come true.

I will accompany you even to the really boring ‘guy’ stuff as your ‘girl’.. even a boxing match, or whatever other manly dreadful things i can think of… id do it for you.

I shall learn to cook delicious meals for you!

& have family dinners at least 4 nights a week & maybe cheat with pizza or to-go the other nights…

I shall raise our kids to make us proud with their character.

I shall try to impress all your friends & parents & family with your help.

I will give you back massages after a long day’s work.

I will defend you to all my friends & anyone who picks on you.

I will remain loyal & in love with you forever.

I will always forgive you in the end.

I will kiss & love you like no other…

I shall understand if you want to watch the football game instead of a family movie on sundays. =)

I may even change football loyalties for you…

I will make you my king & honor you & your choices.

I believe the guy is head of the house & i promise to honor your decisions… (though, you should choose what i want, remember =))

I will not embarrass you for a cheap laugh in front of other people.

I will clean the house & do your laundry. I will decorate & keep it lovely.

But most of all, i will adore you, and compliment you, and smile with you, and make you feel like a king.

….. I can’t wait to meet you & fall in love

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,