Time’s magic act

There’s a potion of intermingled hopes and fears.

Time is a magic act, on its own.

It waves its cape and beckons for cheers,

leaving all the aces in sleeves unknown…

–

Faith is a coat rarely embraced and worn.

Because life here is kind to the weak,

and a suit that is faded and torn,

has no place at the table of Earth’s elite.

–

Hope is dwindling on fate’s candlestick.

The future always seems eminent.

So precious and powerful, with such a thin wick,

few step into the storm to shield the wind…

…but we must keep hope lit…

–

For ages and generations of grown wise and passed on,

the world to a new age and generation of fools whom all believe,

they are the greatest, the wisest, and they shall make new laws,

that make this place better than those before could have conceived.

–

And open minds still need a filter,

and open hearts still need guards,

open dreams, still need solid timber

for we all still live under the stars.

–

Be cautious, be prudent, be patient, be wise.

Trust those before, for the’ve glimpsed more in their short times.

Be humble, be honest, be rational, be kind.

Be loving, be faithful, be hopeful, be alive.

–

The magic act has begun

perhaps, it is already halfway through.

You don’t have to stay and watch the show…

you’re allowed to get up, and explore the room.

–

The potion has already been mixed in your wine,

and you shall both suffer and rejoice with time.

And love is bitter, love is sacrifice, but love is divine.

And it’s the only thing that lasts longer than life.

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Dear Lord… Sinfully, yours truly

OH, enter in the prayer i ought to speak,
oh, it’s been so long, since i truly believed.
and oh, i kneel here on sinful knees,
oh Lord, please come break my everything…

Oh oh Lord, I need you. and all the pain you put me through

take me to the altar,
sacrifice my strength
i’m a hollow nothing
outside of your way with me.

oh lord, i need you… and all the pain you put me through.

there was a time i mapped out my life
such a holy pride i held my head up high.
if only i had been humble enough to hold your hand…
but i was too young and naive to understand

it’s the brokenness, that rebuilds into strength.
it’s in the silence where wisdom comes to speak.
it’s in a humble love, that we must give away everything.
and in giving it all away, that we receive peace…

Oh Lord, I need you, and all the pain you put me through…

it’s a hard cold world, without your comforting touch.
it’s a double edged sword that screams that one is never enough.
it’s a hopeless race, bitterly regretting the dripping time,
and for every drop passing, I’ve lost meaning in my life…

and then there’s you. and then there’s your son,
and then there’s Mary and her rose garden of love,
and then there’s this honesty that breaks my hardened pride,
Oh Lord, crush all my plans, and make my life right…

All the money in the world, can’t buy me peace of mind,
and all the travels only make me yearn for someone at my side,
and all the success only makes me realize how empty it is,
without your plan, burning from the center of it.

Here at this place, i step forward emptily filled,
I’ve not lived the life, that i know you had willed.
tears aren’t enough, break my heart tonight.
i don’t need the world. i only need you in my life…

So wash my heart, and make it pure in your sight,
let it be as a lily, make it strong for the fight.
Help me love the imperfection, seeing traces of you,
Oh Lord take everything, and make it all new.

Oh Lord, I need you, and all the pain you put me through…

i need the strength, i need the softness, i need the truth.
i need to be reborn, feel the rush of grace and peace flowing through,
there is nothing greater, and you are the first and only i chose.
oh Lord, now i know, i need you. i’ve always needed you.

Hear the raw truth, there is nothing greater in this life
test it with your limited years, it will be a bitter waste of time.
and as an egg shell must break, for a bird to come forth,
Lord break the empty shell of my life, and make it so much more

God, for real.
i desire nothing more.
finally this time,
I’m sinfully yours.

 

So shall end my war.

I just want my heart to love,
but have a heart that fights…
it guards and battles breaks and pain,
but it brings its own type of demise…

I just wanted to be soft and sweet
like my childhood when i trusted.
but time hardens and leaves cuts,
like sweet rain leaves doors rusted…

and i may be alone and angry inside,
i may live in my own storm of lies…
i may allow my demons to stay alive,
and i may insanely fight the same battle another time

I may bathe in my own fire and tears,
i may distrust before they have the chance to care,
and i may live in a sort of constant fear,
but deep beneath, a hope lives here.

Deep below the dirty ground of blood,
and the skeletons that scared me into hiding under my bed,
where it is too quite to hear the chaos above,
there is a faith, that shall not be one counted as dead…

and the wars and storms i’ve called to rise,
swirl around in the winds of cheap compromise,
but when i overthrow the kingdom of my life,
it shall be ruled with peace, as love the prize.

Thinly painted on the surface, and buried at my deepest core,
my sanity lives, and is remembered as strongly as before.
Someday the flashes of rage, and resentment well-worn,
shall fall apart, and surrender to grace, and so shall end my war.

 

memories to relive

cozy toes curled on soft carpeted floors on a winter night,
electrically charged sunrises over the mountain filled skies,
thick coffees, teas, and milky hot chocolate drinks,
friendly embraces and fire colored autumn leaves…

dewey dotted gardens filled with daily growing life
crimson roses that let their perfumes take loving flight
fireflies that dance on a texas summer night
and windy days filled with billowing distant kites…

Silky story book pages bleeding of color and worlds
filled with contagious adventures and magical girls.
campfires, and juicy berry cobbler served boiling sweet,
genuine smiles and hearts full of hopes in distant dreams…

never lose the wonder, never lose the peace,
never stop loving, and trying, and giving everything.
embrace every sunrise, and paint it’s details within,
hold every memory, to relive joyously again and again…

 

Man, to get here…

Man, I just don’t give a care,
the longer i live the less it means, i swear…
all the status and accolades i used to need
now appear such shallow and empty dreams…

I’ve grown past needing to get even or be right,
it was a fruitless and exhausting fight.
i’m tired of spending nights counting wrongs,
they’re forgiven and set free like a voice in a song…

I’m sure I’m still ignorant and plenty naive
enough for yall to point fingers and make jokes at me,
so go ahead, i’ll just laugh and let it go,
get an extra smile, and be fine, because you know…

man, these days, i just don’t give a care,
it comes in on one side, then out the other ear,
i’m a good person, not perfect, but i’m okay.
and i know inside out, that won’t change with what you say.

the out-smarting, the bragging, and extra glamourous things,
are worthless and useless if you don’t care for high society,
I have realized how fleeting and hot burns their fire,
while, hardly worth holding, and self harming to aquire…

so nowadays, i don’t give a care
you can love me or hate me, or in my apathy share,
I’m genuinely happy forgiving, and with it all gone,
For the first time, I have really and finally moved on…

 

Where hearts really beat

There are truths that lie
There are smiles that hide,
Where our hearts really beat,
Behind the words we speak…

When doubt shines shadows on hope…
And love is a stranger I don’t know…
Sometimes it’s easier to hold it in,
Than to acknowledge what it really is…

Like the greatest star that shines in the day
And how the fastest lessons come from play.
How the tallest mountain begins on the sea floor
And the greatest empire in history lives no more…

Sometimes the best things are out of place
So you and I are natural in a weird kind of way…

There are truths that I almost hide,
There are smiles and locked eyes,
But we both know despite everything,
Exactly for whom our hearts really beat…

 

don’t let yourself go

Could it be that ‘the one’ is just a joke
pick some one and love them, never let them go…?
find someone and find a way to make them laugh,
why must we complicate it so much more than that?

oh i was such an angry girl,
i just wanted to fire back at the world,
such a lost dream, such a hurt hope,
such a beautiful story that nobody ever wrote…

gotta tell myself, i’m fine now, im really fine.
just the way i am, even if i know it’s a lie.
look in the mirror, learn to love the face i see,
learn to love all the hurt, the eyes are hiding…

learn to love and forgive all the sins i tried…
learn to cry and trust someone again sometime,
maybe stop building walls up so very high?
worst case- they break me, but what’s another time?

stand up strait, it’s gonna be alright
i’m just fine, every wrinkle is where it goes.
i’m beautiful and i’m a good person at the core,
pick myself and love me, never let me go…

don’t let yourself go.

 

oh spinner of the wind…

it’s too big… it’s too bright
it’s all too wrong, and just a little too right…
i could do this, or i could be that…
there’s too many requirements I always lack…

Oh twister of fate, oh keeper of stars,
oh holder of the ocean in the beach’s arms,
oh spinner of wind, oh painter of trees,
oh hear the distant voice of a lost little seed…

plant me in your garden, or water me into the wild…
Give me the spirit to see all of this as a child,
with wide open eyes beaming with hope in tomorrow,
give me thier energy, to be happy in sorrow.

 

when you stopped being a poem

today, you stopped being a poem,
and became the subject of much more.
no longer a pair of eyes i flirt with,
instead you’re the man i’ve come to adore.

you’ve become the heart i want mine to beat next to,
and the last voice i want to hear tell me goodnight.
of course every love is a gamble of emotions and time,
but you’ve become the risk worth putting my heart on the line.

You stopped being the ideal prince I demanded,
and became the human who makes me roll my eyes.
you stopped being the next best thing for now,
and today, became the main character in the rest of my life.

 

none of them are you

Always going to be one hotter
always going to be one richer too
always going to be one sweeter, or meaner
or who does more of something I do,

Always going to be that person who is funnier
maybe he can steal the spotlight of the room,
but it doesn’t really matter any more,
because i’d always rather just be with you…

this really just fet too easy
because after all the hard times i’ve been through
this is the first time i’ve ever
just looked at someone, and already knew.