chart our stars, and melt my heart

in the silence, beats a whisper to the dark…
it’s the soft whimper of a slowly starving heart…
no longer desperate, it has outlived the war,
but it’s missing the hope it had before…

oh so unwise, after all this time,
indecisive and apathetically inclined.
i turn so cold, when i’m afraid,
lest i relieve all the frozen pain…

i want to love, make me a sun,
blaze in the day ricochet off the moon,
i want to awake, i want to flood,
let my walls and darkness come undone

a galaxy too expansive for me,
i couldn’t chose a brightest star,
but now i see, the truth of things,
the brightest depends on where you are…

So come close to me, i want your touch.
i want you to know my heart, my love.
melt the frozen blood, let me cry,
just stay here, at my wounded side.

and I will see your scars, and light your dark.
i will hold your hand, and make you a star chart,
we can dance, on earth it’s more than enough
our day has finally come to free us to be us.

i want my best friend, by my side.
the one who makes me smile any time.
i don’t need a star, or foreign mystery,
i just want to give you everything, all of me.

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Where hearts really beat

There are truths that lie
There are smiles that hide,
Where our hearts really beat,
Behind the words we speak…

When doubt shines shadows on hope…
And love is a stranger I don’t know…
Sometimes it’s easier to hold it in,
Than to acknowledge what it really is…

Like the greatest star that shines in the day
And how the fastest lessons come from play.
How the tallest mountain begins on the sea floor
And the greatest empire in history lives no more…

Sometimes the best things are out of place
So you and I are natural in a weird kind of way…

There are truths that I almost hide,
There are smiles and locked eyes,
But we both know despite everything,
Exactly for whom our hearts really beat…

 

tragedy of the norm

took my hope and took my heart
took my dreams and lit a spark,
should’ve known fire burns
and that a burn leaves a scar…

got no tragedy to mourn
was only a victim to the norm,
undervalued what we had
and thought it not worth fighting for…

but some times the fire stays
and sometimes it don’t even fade
and when the winds blow in your face,
sometimes, it just strengthens the flame.

So i left, and you moved on…
like every one-who-got-away song…
should of listened to the radio
before i made the same wrong…

took my hope and took my heart
took my dreams and lit a spark,
should’ve known fire burns
and that a burn leaves a scar…

i know you are only human
i remember you as a friend
as the one who taught me to love,
and since whom i haven’t loved again…

 

and trust him again…

I decided to stop trying to jump out of the sea
just to assess the horizon ahead…
Some people were meant to fly below the waves,
so i am surrendering to God again, instead.

Within the darknesses, and forbidden light,
throughout the adventures I fervently defend,
among the sharks and schools of the current,
it’s easy to ignore what chaos has come to live within…

and the peace of knowing, the trust beyond,
the faith in walking my heart to His door,
enough of the wild rushes, enough of the fires,
I finally realize the adrenaline is not enough to live for…

 

i beg to differ.

Everyone always says the hardest thing is letting go.
But i beg to differ.

letting go and moving on may bitter the heart
and cloud the mind
but it’s nothing that can’t be solved with enough travel
and enough time…

but the hardest challenge, the bloodiest battle to be fought
is not letting go of the past, it’s trying again.
it’s giving what has hurt you time and time again this second chance,
even though you know how it will end.

it’s holding onto the belief that whatever pains that you have come to know and as part of your life
are worth the eventual joy that has been promised to you, after all this wasted strife.

everyone always has said that the hardest thing is letting go.
im sorry but i have to differ,
the hardest thing is after every burn, after every scar, still fighting for hope. the hardest battle is hope.

but it’s the key to everything. hope. always hope.

 

don’t tempt the inner goddess

Don’t feed the inner dragon,
no matter how hot the fire he may breathe…
Don’t tempt the inner goddess,
with golden apples or a dual of manipulative strength,

Don’t tempt the inner princess,
with lands, jewels, and magic of afar,
don’t tempt the inner dreamer,
with maps to treasures, spells and stars…

Don’t tempt the beauty…
Don’t tempt the beast,
don’t tempt the darkness,
don’t tempt me.

You think you know my little tricks,
you think you have my riddles solved,
you think you and your clever little self,
are so very much more evolved…

But I breathe fire of the deep,
i’ll sink ships and burn Troy if i’m not more pretty,
i’ll trade my realm, possessed with wanderlust,
and i’ll charm the darkest into a sinful trust…

I’ll break your little world apart.
i’ll wound the sky with my sword,
Don’t dance with or lie to my inner monster ,
it is a wrath like that you’ve never seen before…

 

of life and love… the balance of the who vs what

I think “true love” is such a stupid theoretical cliche used far too often.

Please, yes, there has to be a spark, but it’s so much more.
For so long, i thought it was a checklist. Money, God, Social, Kind, Caring, good looking, etc… Now i know it is so much more. You have to truly just care about the person.

Look at them and admire them. Their mannerisms, their looks, their eyes, their laugh. You have to love them for WHO they are, AND for WHAT they are. not just what. and not just who. which are the two extremes everyone seems to go to these days.

It has to be a balance. for quite some time, i’ve had this philosophy of see if he matches the ‘what’ before i start to fall for the ‘who’. but this is awful. i truly think you have to look at them both equally from the beginning, or you are far too likely to fall in love with the idea of someone, and the idea of a potential future than to actually consider them for who they are at their core.

Love the person. Marry the whole. I realize how many guys i’ve hurt as i’ve lived this way. Guys maybe look for a little too much of the who, and girls maybe look a little too much for the what. but it has to be a balance. and a commitment to love both, through changes, through doubts, through time.

 

My heart waits

And if I were to try to find your heart,
I wouldn’t even know where to start, oh no…
A heart is not a quest
nor a war to be brought to rest,

And the man for whom I wish…
is more than just a check list…
A dream is more than colors and shapes,
it’s the way it leaves you feeling when you awake…

And I… I
I’m still waiting for mine.
Sure he’s a type, sure he’s kind,
and sure it’s the idea I have in my mind,

But it’s you and your eyes,
and the way you look into mine…
It’s how I can look at you too,
and feel completely unglued…

It’s how I want to be your partner in every game,
It’s how I want to be your side kick in every race,
It’s how I want to be your trophy, I want to be your prize,
I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine oh mine…

And if I were to try to find your heart,
I wouldn’t even know where to start,
But somewhere in the future, embedded in fate,
You better find me… for in the meantime, my heart waits…

 

the cost of living out dreams

the world is not nearly as large as i once had thought it…
people not so very diverse nor different beneath.
and as i sit here now where i had once only imagined,
i dwell on the cost of living your dreams…

there is always a loss of what could have been
that we trade for whatever we chose to achieve…
and the sickest of lies that hollywood has polluted
is that we can have it all, if we only believe.

Nobody can have it all.

So before you trade your day to day world
with loved ones and adorned with daily routine,
question in your heart what is the cost you are willing
to trade in reality for the chance to live your dreams?

 

The woman on the edge of a the fountain she loved

She sat there with wisdom on the edge of the fountain she loved
It was white marble and throwing rainbows into the sky
She had two dogs at her feet, who would fight to protect her,
And, as always she sat there watching the leaves shiver to life.

Every little stone of gravel had 17 tones of color,
And she watched as kids grew up playing on the slide,
She had gone from a girl who was lost on vacation,
To waiting and watching, because this is where they said to reunite…

All these years later, it was as if it had never even happened,
She remembered her mother’s tearful embrace and her father’s strong hug
The fountain had always been her beacon, protector, and peace,
And now she is almost an extension of its ancient wish-granting love…

Today, she rests with silver grey hairs laced into her tresses,
And the same little journal she has held for ages by this time,
She was never afraid, her soul has always found its peaceful garden
Here in the center of the chaotic smoggy city in which she presides…

The queen of this park, for this has come to be her throne,
Watcher of children, keeper of stray dogs, the one all had come to trust,
Someday, they shall chisel her sweet figure out of marble,
And she’ll keep sitting gracefully on the edge of the fountain she loved.