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unexaggerated wishes.


With no exaggeration or hints of sarcasm,
I’m going to try to write this poem for you,
I just want you to know you mean so much more,
than I ever really want to admit is true…

You know I love your silver blue eyes,
And I love the way you sort of squint & sigh,
when i get worked up over your speeding,
& then you say that i’m too cute for you to fight…

Leaves me feeling helpless & i can’t even glare,
because really i just wish you were holding me here,
and then maybe i wouldn’t be so worried & scared,
because you tend to have that calming effect when you’re near

And yes, i think you’re bangs are totally hot,
Please don’t cut them though i have to admit,
my threat was rather empty in more ways than not,
because i’d totally give in & give you more than one kiss…

And i really love how you just emailed me out of the blue
with some random message when you thought about me & you.
And I know this is totally cheesy, I probably turned my screen off,
i can’t wait to travel the world, and everything we’ll do…

but even if we never do get out there,
(though don’t worry i totally want to too)
i just want you to know what i want most,
is just to someday, share everyday with you.

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I want to follow you.


How do you keep from idealizing perfect?
how do keep reality totally real?
It’s hard to think some folks don’t exaggerate,
or get mixed up between how they think & feel?

Because I”m thinking of a perfect future,
And i’m feeling caught up in the perfect now,
just loving & craving this to last forever…
I couldn’t love anyone else, anyhow…

Am i exaggerating if i say i’ve always known…
saying i’ve always considered, would be true…
But then again there was a day i denied any chance,
that i would ever in a million years fall for you…

So glad you never moved on…
so glad you proved me wrong…
so proud of our unique song…
that we’ve been writing all along…

And I guess i may be mixing thoughts & dreams…
perhaps I’m jumping the gun on everything…
I know we have some real life struggles ahead…
but somehow they just aren’t daunting me…

And they just aren’t daunting you…
just ain’t scary enough to hide from the truth…
I love you. I really do…
For the first time ever, I want to follow through.

 

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My story… & how you bloggers changed it. =)


I have two best friends. One girl & one guy. The girl I”ve been best friends with going on 9 years… the guy for 4 years. Poor things, my girlfriend & i used to sit up in bed giggling over gossip & apple juice, then she’d be forced to hear some of my new poetry… her initials are MB.

The guy & I met in college. Freshman year. his initials are KF. it happened in that year, my family began to experience hard times. He was there for me on so many late nights. He did ask me out at the end of first semester. I turned him down on the basis that i didn’t want a relationship freshman year. He said he’d wait as long as it would take.
It was awkward for a time, but long story short, he got over it & dated two other girls over the next two years. But him & I became even better best friends. We skyped almost every night for hours. Even when he had a girlfriend, or I had a boyfriend. We would tell each other stories about our relationships.
(Btw, i transferred out after freshman year, then left college halfway through sophomore year due to finance issues. I started working my own way through life)
One month i had been sick for 3 weeks & couldn’t work, & thus, couldn’t pay all my rent, he sent me $180… just like that. didn’t even ask me to pay it back. When i was having problems with going out & drinking, he’d stay up with me on skype until i went to bed, so that i wouldn’t be lonely & tempted to go out… He was there for me even more than MB in many ways, as she was busy falling in love with this other guy herself.

WORDPRESS CREATED- KF encouraged me to start a blog site for my poetry. So that i could network & basically have something to do good with my time. So i did. I didn’t use it a lot at first… but over time, it’s come to mean so much to me

Years went by…

He & that girl broke up in 2010 December. He hasn’t had another gf since. I had a bf in the summer. when i broke up with that guy, it was still tough, just ego wise. Because he got a new gf like right away. I felt rather stupid. KF was there every week to build me up. Sending me texts, telling me any guy would love to have me.

More months went by, i began to finally admit to myself what i hadn’t even blogged about online before that. (i’m pretty honest on my site… much easier for me, as it is anonymous). I had fallen for him.

As I began to write poem after poem about faling in love with him. Many bloggers said was fitting or cute. but especially Gabby’s comment (http://autumnsunshineandgabrielleangel.wordpress.com/) , stuck with me… it was such a fitting ending.

Of course, now i was freaking out like crazy. How could i risk loosing my best friend? i mean, if he didn’t like me, how much would that suck & mess with our friendship? & wouldn’t i know if he liked me?

Suzanne Goretti & a few others encouraged me to tell him

So, i finally booked a flight to go up there about 2 weeks ago…

It was the love story of love stories, lol. So freaking perfect. He said he’s been in love with me all along. & i realized i will never love another guy like him.

I may sound totally too fast in saying i want to marry him someday, but i’ve never said that before. i mean it.

I almost gave up on him. I almost didn’t bother going out there. I almost just dated this guy here who likes me. But thanks to my fellow blogger’s encouragement (plus a nudge from my other best friend, MB & sister), i now have found & am with the love of my life. lol.

maybe i’m totally ahead of myself. But for once, i get it. i get what they say when they say ‘better to have loved & lost, then to have never loved at all.” every moment i have just knowing we both love each other, is worth the rest of my life without him.

Thank you all so much for the inspiration & encouragement. I guess God works in mysterious ways, as does love & fate…. I hope you all know i’m not being trite about this, or just trying to broadcast my site. I feel i am so indebted to every single comment that gave me the courage to go out & tell him how i felt. And i wanted to just let you all know i so appreciate everything. & i’ll try to be more involved in yalls sights & maybe, just maybe make even one little comment that may help someone else change their lives.

God Bless, unwritten truth.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on April 2, 2012 in awards, cute, explore, introspective, life, Stories

 

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Dear fellow bloggers… let’s shape our worlds together…


It’s funny how little & much this site can play a role in our lives. We can ignore it, & nothing bad happens. Or we can invest & become inspired. What’s really neat about wordpress, is how we are all active writers & readers. So, we have the opportunity to influence each other. Many of the future ‘best selling’ authors, editors, & even obsure writers are on here. we all have the chance to shape the future of literature on here. both with feedback & writing. . .

but there’s even more than that… we can change & inspire each other in ways that will change our lives, & thus the lives around us. Let’s try to build each other up. Even critiques can be helpful. We can bounce ideas & theories & encouragement. Look, everyone needs a little motivation & inspiration.

In the following blog, i will tell my story of how some other bloggers on here have changed my life with their feedback. And they don’t even know my real name. I’m an anonymous blogger. Amazing, the soul doesn’t need to be steriotyped or labelled. We can get right to the heart of matters on here.

I am so glad I took the step to set up my wordpress. I love reading every one of yours, & I sincerely hope that I can find time to continue to do so. It’s so powerful when you realize that people all over the world are reading YOUR poems, stories, and blogs.

In particular, i want to single out a few of the most amazing commenters i’ve had. who have inspired me:

1 Autumn & Gabby Angel: http://autumnsunshineandgabrielleangel.wordpress.com/
2 Jaded Heart- http://jadedstone11.wordpress.com/
3 Tale of my Heart- http://justsimplyinlove.wordpress.com/
4. Eric Alagan (so inspirational) http://ericalaganfanclub.wordpress.com/
5. http://daabsentee.wordpress.com/
6. http://maggiemaeijustsaythis.wordpress.com/
7. Michael- http://jamesdez.wordpress.com/
8. http://suzannagoretti.wordpress.com/

in the following blog, you will read how you literally have changed my life. PS. there have been many more inspirations, but these are the most prominent throughout time… i also had one called uncletree or something & anselmiking… both of them are awesome too. there were so many more. but the above have been above & beyond.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on April 2, 2012 in awards, Decisions, explore, life, Stories

 

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this ain’t like me…


This ain’t like me…
I’m no easy ‘fall-for-you’ girl…
I ain’t no sweet talker,
i don’t tell him if he’s my world…

But just the thought of you,
makes me go all sweet sixteen…
like I’d never hurt or been hurt,
by false love beliefs…

I start to smile & I’ll tell it all,
i’ll tell our story to anyone who will hear,
Because I can’t keep in the glow,
as you shine, you make my worries dissapear…

I know i should really question it some,
i should still be discerning as we ‘date’,
but i can’t help but feel like we are so far past
any decisions of that sort we had to make…

Because i love you so much,
I wish I could have known before…
that you would become everything to me,
I can’t imagine ever loving you more…

 

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TO BE, or to fear?… Resolve of the fearful


BE INSPIRED… i’m trying so hard…
so hard to believe that love is attainable..
BE COURAGEOUS… so very hard
not to shrink from all the risks upon the table…

BE HONEST… who really is?
is that vulnerable when they can’t know?
BE TRUSTING… who knows how?
I only trust my own heart not to run or go…

But then again, it’s running now,
running away with my only chance at love,
if i can’t trust my best friend of years,
then how will i ever be able to open up?

He’s done nothing wrong, but steal my love,
nothing but be sweet & loyal & true…
I hate this stupid wary guarded heart of mine…
and how it tries to pull me away from you…

BUT I SHALL NOT GO! I am inspired…
i shall not back down, i believe in us.
I honestly didn’t know this love existed…
stronger than my own will to run…

I WILL love you forever.
I WILL marry you someday,
I SHALL NOT let my own fear
take the best thing I’ve ever had away….

 

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Rear-view love story… come true


All those nights wondering what you would do
If I were to break down & confess my love to you,
Days & months & years we’ve been just best friends
I couldn’t bear the thought of risking letting that end…

O-wo-oh…

Little did I know all those nights so close to truth,
Little by little, I gave my heart totally to you…
And when we said good night & both went to sleep,
I had no idea, you went to bed, & dreamed of me!

Oh-wo-oh

When in the rear-view we’ve loved each other for ages,
And it’s such a wonderful time, turning through our memory pages…
All along, I don’t know why or how I didn’t see from the start,
That I could never find a better lover or match for my heart….

Wo, oh oh

Give me a microphone, no uncertainty here..
I will shout it out, make it officially very clear…
No denying, I’m so freaking in love with you,
And the best part is, that you are in love with me too…

I’ve dreamed about this a thousand times,
So gently you held your hand in mine,
And now that this is actually coming alive,
I keep waiting to wake up from this high….

But wo-oh oh…

You stare at me with silver blue eyes…
Now I know why I love full moon nights…
You touch my face and pull me close to you,
Saying, “tonight I feel like, I’m holding something true.”
…For the first time in my life, I really do too

 

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