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Tag Archives: relationships

between hurt and rage


somewhere between the hurt and the rage,
a longing panic cried ‘don’t go away’…
somewhere between ‘please stay’ and ‘goodbye’
I was in shock, as i looked into your eyes.

because i don’t understand why…
was she more beautiful than me?
for those 3 minutes did you believe,
that we weren’t ever going to be anything?

Did you think i wouldn’t care?
but even then, i just don’t see how…
you could love me like you say you do
but kiss her 3 weeks before you move down.

So many stupid journal pages
I’ve scribbled on and on about you.
so many nights i spent just imagining,
that you were lying in my bed too…

and i’d been waiting and waiting,
and was just at the point when my cold heart melted
and decided to open up and trust
and i just hate how you did it, but im the one who got f***ed

im the one who felt it so wrong in my gut.
im the one who feels like im less for your wrong
im the one who questions what is love,
do i know you? you aren’t who i thought…

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you are my cuprit, victim, and mystery


you are the embodiment of my every extreme
the one closest to my heart, and farthest from me,
you are the sunshine, the thunderstorm, and diamond nights,
you are the cause and solution to my burning inner fight

you are the loser and champion of every debate,
you are the confusion and clarity when i’m insane,
the one i’ll always attack, and always defend,
you are the newest lover, and oldest friend,

when it comes down to it, you are my blessing and curse
like ying and yang, we are intertwined by the universe
you are the fire that drives my heart into a tizzy,
and the peace that you give me, to calm my inner busy…

you are the neons, the glowing, the black hole, the dreams,
you are the culprit, the victim, and my own mystery,
you are the wishes, and the wished for, the wisher, and the star
you hold the questions, the answers, and the maze to my heart

 

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divided risks


i think i finally am falling for you
in the end, it’s actually a really easy thing to do
while half of me is jeering, & the other half is cheering
all i know, is that this is a risk that i’m sick of fearing

and i wouldn’t put my chips one way or the other
i’m entirely divided between feeling horror & wonder
but i guess when all is said & done,
you never hear anyone say, ‘gee, i sure regret love’…

 

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emotion’s tide


Don’t know where emotions grow from
Or what makes them ebb away or run…
Can’t say I crashed into the deep,
As much as that I’ve waded into you & me…

And I wouldn’t write our book just yet
And I wouldn’t name our future pets…
And I wouldn’t envision the place we’ll be…
Because I’m afraid… it’s already happening…

I’m feeling little swirls of giggles & sweet
Getting little urges to kiss you on the cheek,
When i wake up, i see your ‘good morning’ text each day,
And today i realized, I can’t just let you slip away…

Because little quirky memories float like bubbles
Like holding hands, crossing streets over puddles,
You and I playing guitar on El Dorado’s park stage…
all the hippies came to listen on as the blue faded into grey…

You know, I won’t admit that crawling hugginess inside.
But the feelings are washing over like a full moon’s tide…
And looking back, over all the lemon ice cream days,
I can’t let the distance just make them drip away…

 

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coins, spells, rainbows, & wells


like the coins they threw into a wishing well,
like the words they spoke from a book of spells
like a tone-deaf girl trying to learn how to sing
we were wasted as money bet on the lottery…

oh like using a phone book 2 decades old,
and following rainbows looking for a pot of gold,
some people will disappoint you in the end
doesn’t matter how much heart & hope you put into it…

now i ain’t sayin’ miracles can’t come true
or that wishes in fountains isn’t fun to do…
all i’m saying is that i’m done trusting you…
time wastin’, so let’s hasten & make this through…

 

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half-assed baby


it’s true I am getting older,
& perhaps a bit bolder,
wasted too much time on you
which is why we should just be through

and now you’re calling ‘wait, baby!’
but it’s too late for my ‘maybe’
you’re so full of excuses & scape goats…
i’m tired of your singing fake notes…

You take no responsibility
if every problem stemmed from me
why are you still here?
it’s time for you to disappear…

Noo… no more ‘maybes’
i ain’t your baby…
noo.. just go, OH i say
what i mean today

I’m tired of you juggling me & work
I’m tired of you treating me like your trophy girl..
I’m not what you’re looking for any more
So sick of your half-assed ‘I’m sure’

I won’t take the late late nights
I won’t take the “but I tried”s…
& it’s true I’m just getting older…
which is why I’m finally enough bolder

to stop wasting any more time
and move on with my life…
goodbye half assed baby…
So I’ll leave with a half assed maybe….

but really, i think we both know
it’s time to let this circus go…
I’m feeling up to finding passion & love maybe soon
And all i got to go on, is that it sure ain’t you…

 

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just another ‘now’…


just another almost mr. charming…
just another could have been, but walked away…
just another few months spent
on another one who I can say is one who got away…

oh when will i stop pushing & pushing?
when can i just open up again?
i guess i wasn’t ready, i guess i’m still not…
but, i’m getting closer & closer to it…

Someday soon, i’ll love again, i can feel it
oh it warms & settles in my soul…
oh someday soon, i’ll even let one love me back…
as soon as i can learn to give up a little control…

but for now.. i’m closer
for now, i’m still free
for now I’m going on adventures
but now, isn’t everything

 
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Posted by on September 6, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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