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Tag Archives: sorry

the story it wasn’t supposed to be


this ain’t no story of beauty.
and it really isn’t a story of love
just a story of confusion and choices
that led us into this awkward hug…

because feelings are never really easy
and for me they are the hardest to name.
i never meant to hurt you or use you,
i didn’t realize that we were even playing a game.

but the spell i cast on your heart has
worn off and so has the spell on mine…
we both realize this whole thing is drama
and we’re just caught in the story line…

and i know you really think you still want me.
but i know it’s just to save your pride and your word.
said you were coming down here for a love story…
the end always feels like a punch in the gut and hurts..

can we just let this go like steam into the sky?
can we just pretend it never happened and be friends?
can you stop trying to win me back and just let us be?
can all these awkward hugs and words just finally end?

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my heart is melting out


my heart is slowly melting out
into tears of crimson need…
staining all my journal pages
like the glass of wine I raise to drink…

my frustration leaks through cracks
like lava shifting out of grinding tectonic plates
gushing and hardening over the flowers
leaving my world in a shiny layer of grey…

my envy boils beneath my stone face
and like the scarlet afterglow of the sky
the vermilion bleeds out the wish of my heart
and cleaves just to turn back time

to before I chose to say goodbye…

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heart pick-pocket


berry juicy kind of sweet
i let you get the best of me…
and i gave you just enough
but then you grabbed my trust…

and i’m still running,
trying to feel something…
give it back, give it back, it’s mine
somebody get him! tonight….

ain’t nothing but a love pick-pocket
stealing goodies like the love in a locket…
i don’t need your words another time,
i needed you to rise up & really be mine…

but you can’t be caught for this,
think you’re Leonardo Dicaprio’s twin,,
all you are is mean, & stolen part of me..
why won’t you set me free? & let me be…

 

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half-assed baby


it’s true I am getting older,
& perhaps a bit bolder,
wasted too much time on you
which is why we should just be through

and now you’re calling ‘wait, baby!’
but it’s too late for my ‘maybe’
you’re so full of excuses & scape goats…
i’m tired of your singing fake notes…

You take no responsibility
if every problem stemmed from me
why are you still here?
it’s time for you to disappear…

Noo… no more ‘maybes’
i ain’t your baby…
noo.. just go, OH i say
what i mean today

I’m tired of you juggling me & work
I’m tired of you treating me like your trophy girl..
I’m not what you’re looking for any more
So sick of your half-assed ‘I’m sure’

I won’t take the late late nights
I won’t take the “but I tried”s…
& it’s true I’m just getting older…
which is why I’m finally enough bolder

to stop wasting any more time
and move on with my life…
goodbye half assed baby…
So I’ll leave with a half assed maybe….

but really, i think we both know
it’s time to let this circus go…
I’m feeling up to finding passion & love maybe soon
And all i got to go on, is that it sure ain’t you…

 

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tell me to go away


2 years, 3 texts, no call back
you’d think i’d get the clue…
all you are is an idolized memory,
and we are pretty much through…

But i can’t let go yet, it’s not enough,
i’ve spent far too many nights & dreams on us,
i need you tell me honest & to my face,
i need you to tell me to go & stay away….

I’m not the kind of girl to cling on after goodbye
but somehow the questions still linger after all this time
I can’t even count how many dandelion seeds i’ve blown
sending out wishes into the future’s unknown…

Tell me to go & stay away,
tell me there is no chance today,
tell me you no longer care about me at all
tell me I was foolish to ever fall…

 

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Today, I’m a bitch


Today, i realized how sour i’ve become
today i realized I’m a jealous bitch
today i realized i’m not really a good person
and today, I realized i’m not over it…

I’m not over all the rejection, all the hurt & lies,
I’m not over all the people I’ve left, or friendships I abused,
I’m not over all the people that I’ve left behind,
and i’m not quite ready to accept the truth…

today i realized i play games with boys
because it’s the only control & power i get
i’m not where i want to be in my life
& failure kinda sucks when it starts to sink in…

Today i realized I don’t want to let anyone love me
because the people who love me, I always let down
I know this sounds depressing & sad and all that,
but all i feel is angry & annoyed with how it all turned out…

Tomorrow, i may learn to love the world again
tomorrow, i may want to let someone love me too,
tomorrow, i may just be happy & content with life,
but today, tomorrow seems a little vague & untrue

when you look under the bandaid
there’s ugly scars & open wounds
Does anybody ever really heal from the world?
or do they all just bullshit their way through?
I mean, even Jesus still has wounds

 

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chains & storms


Some nights i miss you so much
i break my heart within tearful chains
but the memories won’t let me loose…
i hide from friends with ‘i’m too tired’ claims…

with led balls of guilt, i won’t go out, i find
sometimes you just need a long hard cry…
& like the rumbling Texas lightning strikes…
the flashing memories can’t be contained tonight…

so tonight i lay broken in two
i would do anything to take back time
i didn’t know you were more divided than I am…
i didn’t know your chains were too heavy to fight…

and definitely didn’t know you would take your own life…

 

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