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Tag Archives: soul

deep and far away


Once I felt a reason, and we had our season,
when I could have loved you, I could have loved you…
you sought out answers, to every question
that I ever asked you, that I ever asked you….

But rain and snow and hail came in our winter,
And I just couldn’t make it through to summer days…
I don’t know why I couldn’t keep going, i couldn’t love you.
I can’t really answer the one question you gave…

I know it wasn’t fair, i turned off the water to our fountain,
and you were still there, just wanting to hold my hand.
I don’t know where or what happened to our seasons..
honestly, i don’t think either of us will ever understand….

once I felt a reason, and we had our season,
and I could have loved you, i could have loved you, but walked away
you gave me so many answers so very many answers
and i couldn’t tell you a single reason, even a bad one, that i walked away

somewhere there in the shadow of time, in the base of words, and the depth of rhymes
I’m still searching, I”m still digging in my soul,
somewhere so deep, so very cold, somewhere so very hard,
can anybody ever love something so very far… far away,
can anybody make it, dig that deep, to that dark of a place?

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captive demon


an evil soul lives within my desires…
it beckons me, “come set it on fire…
you know her secrets, so let her burn…
what need have you, for a friend like her?”

the evil monster shifts around,
then clinches my heart & pulls me to the ground…
“oh he’s a stupid boy, he needs to learn…
so break his heart, he’s asking for the burn….”

it squeezes my gut until i almost vomit truth …
and release all the secrets i’ve held in confidence for you…
the demon sneers with evil delight as you squirm
as little flames of fire i breathe makes you uncomfortably warm…

and as you come back to plead me for release
my fingers become claws, & my body a beast….
oh the demon comes alive & devours my life…
oh i resent this dragon, for now I live in it, & not it inside I…

 

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bottle of the soul


you can’t capture a soul in a bottle
and mix it with potions to become
a little more this, or a little less that
or dilute out the bad things that they’ve done…

And it doesn’t matter how much you want gold…
alchemy wont change my heart of steel…
and you can say it is cold & too hard to handle,
but that hardly makes me want to heal…

because you think you can change my mind
but really you’re just breaking my heart
so like the sand and the water in the ocean,
while always together, we will always be apart

separated… oil and water just don’t mix…
let’s be honest you want to change who i am…
and someone’s core is not something to fix…
so i love you… but i won’t be your little lamb…

 

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my island soul


if i were to paint a picture & call it me…
I’d paint a slightly mysteriously distant scene…
of an island jungle mountain in the sea,

with a stranded lonely girl revealed on the sand,
always trying to find a new way onto mainland…
you can see what she can’t understand….

that she is hundreds of miles from other souls…
she’ll always be in her own world all alone….
she’s too distant to be heard or shown….

throwing a new bottle every day,
slowly growing in content in her own way…
prison of paradise owns her name…

little soul, why do you want to be saved?
Don’t you know the world is a harsh mean place?
i guess it’s too late, they just saw my flame….

i’ve been found… do i really want to be known around?
before i really know who i even am?

 

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child, YOU are the fool


So you think you know love, oh dear
So you think you can save my cynical soul…
Leave me alone if you please Mr. weird,
For I am the expert, & you are the fool…

You are the fool who calls himself ‘romantic’
You are the fool who believes in ‘first sight’
You are the fool who thinks that ‘forever’
Is made up of cliché feelings and rhymes…

I am the expert who has dated many a man
Who statistically speaking, had followed a plan
Bitterness and guilt mixed with anger and hurt pride,
Oh foolish boy, I have the right to patronize….

 

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I’ll be honest… and that’s okay


I’ll be honest, i’m not that happy…
But you know what, sometimes that’s okay…
Because I know it’s a cold dark winter,
And i’ll have more laughs on some summer day…

I’ll be honest, i’m really scared nobody will love me
Nobody will love me for who i really am…
but even more scary is that I wonder if i can love him
but you know what, time will tell me if anyone can…

And you know, to be honest right now…
i feel so alone, useless, & just really ugly inside out…
But my plan is just to say my prayers, & wish on stars,
until time & sunshine eventually will end my doubt…

and i’ll be honest, i’m not okay….
but there’s a beauty to accepting this sorrow,
and i have faith that there will be more smiles,
if i can just wait it out, until tomorrow’s tomorrow…

 

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learning to love myself alone <3


i really want to fall into somebody’s embrace tonight…
just that comfort of strong arms holding me tight…
and i know that urge, i know exactly what it does…
So, i’m locking myself in, & forbidding myself to run….

Nothing is so scary about being alone…
i just start to bore myself & resist the battle to grow…
but this time i’m not letting myself just go…
i’m going to enjoy my own company without the show…

learn to laugh at the jokes i tell in my head
serenade myself with a guitar on my bed…
going to dress myself up for an evening at home
going to love myself into loving just being alone.

no more guys, no more using them like a crutch…
little darling, it’s time to stop running & grow the heck up…
if i can’t love myself, why would anyone else in the world?
oh so tonight, i’m learning to love this crazy girl…

inside out, laugh for joy with no one to hear…
find an art project or a journey i go on each year…
find that magic, find that beauty in my own soul & mind…
i know it sounds crazy… but i’m learning to love myself tonight.

 

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