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none of them are you


Always going to be one hotter
always going to be one richer too
always going to be one sweeter, or meaner
or who does more of something I do,

Always going to be that person who is funnier
maybe he can steal the spotlight of the room,
but it doesn’t really matter any more,
because i’d always rather just be with you…

this really just fet too easy
because after all the hard times i’ve been through
this is the first time i’ve ever
just looked at someone, and already knew.

 

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my drought and storm….


I built myself a solid shelter from the storm…
with rusty nails the builders had once spurred.
I felt no need, in design, to conform.
so i nested it in a tree, where i could feel as a bird…

but in life, it’s usually flood or drought,
and the wisdom of elders is often drowned out,
by the firework’s boom, and the flashing lights,
and those in the trees, lose the power of lime lights…

I told myself, others would build nearby soon…
but the lights afar, were the only ones that grew,
i know that I’m the one who looks lost in a dream,
but I’m just not like them, and I’m sick of trying to be.

I”m tired of calling out, waving others to come in.
for they all promised to join, but then went away again.
and perhaps, alone, and afar, is where Im meant to be,
though, the view is now watching everyone else become happy.

call me stubborn, call me extreme,
but i won’t leave paradise just to find company…
though without someone, what is paradise for?
and so both my storm and drought begin once more…

how much is paradise really worth?
and ought i maybe consider to conform?
for the sun encircles their world and mine,
and the only similarity, is the passing time…

 

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home.


i never realized how important home is. Having a place you call your own. Even if you travel, you need a home there.

I used to say, I have no home. We moved around so much, i just belonged to those people, not a place. And all those people, all my family, has now spread out around the country. But I guess with age we find, you can have more than one home. Home is where the heart is, but our hearts can love many…

So, if you are one of those people who is lucky enough to have all of those your heart loves in the same place, then consider yourself blessed. For your home, unlike mine, is unchangeable. It’s solid, and it’s something the rest of us crave.

Protect it, love it, guard it, hold it, open it, and appreciate and know with all your being just how beautiful it is.

Every home is a gift. Every love of a heart is a blessing. Home is important, because it is what guides and reminds us who we are. Remember it always. Find ways to keep your homes beautiful. Find ways to keep it peaceful and good. Invest in your home. And your home shall inspire you.

 
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Posted by on October 7, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

and trust him again…


I decided to stop trying to jump out of the sea
just to assess the horizon ahead…
Some people were meant to fly below the waves,
so i am surrendering to God again, instead.

Within the darknesses, and forbidden light,
throughout the adventures I fervently defend,
among the sharks and schools of the current,
it’s easy to ignore what chaos has come to live within…

and the peace of knowing, the trust beyond,
the faith in walking my heart to His door,
enough of the wild rushes, enough of the fires,
I finally realize the adrenaline is not enough to live for…

 

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the fan and the floor


and this is where i’ll leave your memory to rot
stop asking me to come back so we can half ass this more,
i’m sick of making up in my head what we’ve got,
cuz somewhere or another the fan flung our shit on the floor…

and i’m so glad, we ended like we did…
so glad i remembered why i had to get over it…
im so glad, i don’t feel the need to be friends
glad i was honest, and told you it all was pretend.

now it’s too late, for you and me to go
please just let me never see your face ever again.
please let’s just admit what they predicted long ago,
there’s nothing that we have to explain or defend

 

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as confident as my wrinkles.


getting wrinkles is probably one of the
greatest horrors of every young woman.
Or that realization that she no longer is
really that young of a woman.

you look back at photos, and realize
that you didn’t even know you were beautiful then.
nobody told you. they all just teased you
assuming you were so secure you already knew…

nobody told me i was wasting my youth
nobody told me how short it was going to be
everybody told me that i’d have plenty of time
and everybody told me just to take my time…

and i did. and now i have wrinkles.
wrinkles that don’t go away when i stop laughing.
wrinkles that dig deeper into my skin and confidence every day
wrinkles that force me to grow up.

maybe it’s a good thing, you know?
maybe they force us out of that relying on looks phase.
and it’s true im still more beautiful than i’ll ever be again
but gosh. when you find those old pictures… i hate to admit im that shallow, but

…it hurts. i don’t want wrinkles. i don’t want to grow up.

they force me to realize im getting older
and that i need to decide what to do with my life.
and then i look in the mirror again,
and i still haven’t done enough to justify my age.

i fear i shall never be as grown up,
as mature, nor nearly confident as my wrinkles are.
they told me to travel the world while i was young
and then i woke up, and i wasn’t young anymore.

all the great guys were married,
all the hot guys were losing their hair
and all the great and good looking men, i realized
were never perfect to start with, they had a girl who brought it out…

and id missed my chance a million times.

 
 

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to love a broken heart


years ago i fell in love with a broken heart
bleeding glass shattered on concrete…
i was only a young, naive, and a hopeful fool,
yet was convinced that i knew everything…

I grew to adore every sharp and brittle part
but felt a new gash with every hug i held him dear…
thought i could heal him and the pain would go away with time,
but eventually the shards tore through my chest into my heart…

and now, you’re trying to love a broken heart
oh how it’s edges glitter in the sun you shine,
don’t be a romeo, just whistle while you go,
do us both a favor, and give me some time alone…

 

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