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the fan and the floor


and this is where i’ll leave your memory to rot
stop asking me to come back so we can half ass this more,
i’m sick of making up in my head what we’ve got,
cuz somewhere or another the fan flung our shit on the floor…

and i’m so glad, we ended like we did…
so glad i remembered why i had to get over it…
im so glad, i don’t feel the need to be friends
glad i was honest, and told you it all was pretend.

now it’s too late, for you and me to go
please just let me never see your face ever again.
please let’s just admit what they predicted long ago,
there’s nothing that we have to explain or defend

 

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as confident as my wrinkles.


getting wrinkles is probably one of the
greatest horrors of every young woman.
Or that realization that she no longer is
really that young of a woman.

you look back at photos, and realize
that you didn’t even know you were beautiful then.
nobody told you. they all just teased you
assuming you were so secure you already knew…

nobody told me i was wasting my youth
nobody told me how short it was going to be
everybody told me that i’d have plenty of time
and everybody told me just to take my time…

and i did. and now i have wrinkles.
wrinkles that don’t go away when i stop laughing.
wrinkles that dig deeper into my skin and confidence every day
wrinkles that force me to grow up.

maybe it’s a good thing, you know?
maybe they force us out of that relying on looks phase.
and it’s true im still more beautiful than i’ll ever be again
but gosh. when you find those old pictures… i hate to admit im that shallow, but

…it hurts. i don’t want wrinkles. i don’t want to grow up.

they force me to realize im getting older
and that i need to decide what to do with my life.
and then i look in the mirror again,
and i still haven’t done enough to justify my age.

i fear i shall never be as grown up,
as mature, nor nearly confident as my wrinkles are.
they told me to travel the world while i was young
and then i woke up, and i wasn’t young anymore.

all the great guys were married,
all the hot guys were losing their hair
and all the great and good looking men, i realized
were never perfect to start with, they had a girl who brought it out…

and id missed my chance a million times.

 
 

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to love a broken heart


years ago i fell in love with a broken heart
bleeding glass shattered on concrete…
i was only a young, naive, and a hopeful fool,
yet was convinced that i knew everything…

I grew to adore every sharp and brittle part
but felt a new gash with every hug i held him dear…
thought i could heal him and the pain would go away with time,
but eventually the shards tore through my chest into my heart…

and now, you’re trying to love a broken heart
oh how it’s edges glitter in the sun you shine,
don’t be a romeo, just whistle while you go,
do us both a favor, and give me some time alone…

 

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in love with the chaos


rolling myself from town to town
keeping a secret eye open for a place to settle down…
with plans to travel the whole world round,
but hopes someone will love me into turning home bound

after enough oceans, mountains, waterfalls, and hills
they all start looking the same from a plane looking below
and to be perfectly honest, it’s no longer the destinations-
im in love with looking down, im in love with being on the go…

im in love with the whirlwind crazy adventures,
the frustrations, the chaos, the curious and strange sights,
Some people love their coffee and newspaper routines,
but i’m in love with buses, trains, boats, and plane flights…

if someone could dig the lust for adventure out of my soul,
then perhaps my life would for once, appear under control,
im a lover of the chaos, who nests within hearts…
so take me, or leave me, or join my journey of fools

 

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until you say goodbye to me


I never meant to leave you behind
I don’t know what I thought I would find
I guess i thought you might follow behind
And always believed we get back together with time

When you moved on, I really did try.
I tried with men, I tried with wine,
I tried with travels, and I tried with time…
But I still can’t get you out of my mind…

I guess you’re happy and have moved on
This time I won’t lie, I wish it were me.
but since this is what you want, all I ask,
and all I beg that you give in parting,

is show up for one last night to dance
please let’s talk, so I can realize we’re too different,
and I’ve already thrown away my pride so grant me this one thing,
please show up, so that you can say good bye to me.

I finally realized you’re the heart I can’t let go
So I need you to be the one to leave me alone.
Because I can’t move on, Until I see,
until I see you say goodbye to me.

 

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i beg to differ.


Everyone always says the hardest thing is letting go.
But i beg to differ.

letting go and moving on may bitter the heart
and cloud the mind
but it’s nothing that can’t be solved with enough travel
and enough time…

but the hardest challenge, the bloodiest battle to be fought
is not letting go of the past, it’s trying again.
it’s giving what has hurt you time and time again this second chance,
even though you know how it will end.

it’s holding onto the belief that whatever pains that you have come to know and as part of your life
are worth the eventual joy that has been promised to you, after all this wasted strife.

everyone always has said that the hardest thing is letting go.
im sorry but i have to differ,
the hardest thing is after every burn, after every scar, still fighting for hope. the hardest battle is hope.

but it’s the key to everything. hope. always hope.

 

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don’t tempt the inner goddess


Don’t feed the inner dragon,
no matter how hot the fire he may breathe…
Don’t tempt the inner goddess,
with golden apples or a dual of manipulative strength,

Don’t tempt the inner princess,
with lands, jewels, and magic of afar,
don’t tempt the inner dreamer,
with maps to treasures, spells and stars…

Don’t tempt the beauty…
Don’t tempt the beast,
don’t tempt the darkness,
don’t tempt me.

You think you know my little tricks,
you think you have my riddles solved,
you think you and your clever little self,
are so very much more evolved…

But I breathe fire of the deep,
i’ll sink ships and burn Troy if i’m not more pretty,
i’ll trade my realm, possessed with wanderlust,
and i’ll charm the darkest into a sinful trust…

I’ll break your little world apart.
i’ll wound the sky with my sword,
Don’t dance with or lie to my inner monster ,
it is a wrath like that you’ve never seen before…

 

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