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ok with being alone this time.


i don’t want another let’s just play
i don’t want another rush and then regret,
i don’t want just some fool with witty words
to cook up intrigue just to keep my heart fed…

i want something realer than a shooting star
that actually died light years ago…
i don’t want another pretend, for now, just friends…
so i’m going to start living alone…

I don’t want to waste time with Mr. in-between
Going to stay open and alive by myself waiting…
It’s hard to move on without a rebound to suffice,
but you know, I’m okay with being alone this time.

 

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fishing in the sky, or breaking into the dark


and the vines of hope soar like beanstalks toward the stars
intertwining in wishes, and seeking another heart
there isn’t always giants with treasures above the clouds
some times the greatest values are masked as hard work on the ground…

if diamonds, jewels, and gold are all found hidden beneath,
and we are willing to break our backs just to catch one of these things…
ought we naught look underneath how things always appear…
how long will it take us to learn, magic and beans won’t get us there…

all the wealth on earth, whether in a heart or of the ground
requires digging and moving some piled up things around
i know it doesn’t look pretty, as you’re still fishing in the stars,
but I’m the kind of jewel royals use to adorn their hearts…

so you dug up a diamond of the deep
in your search for a magic bean,
you leave me here to go climb into the sky,
or we can kindle a fire, and let our love be purified…

 

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thank god you broke my heart


because the diamonds all got a little more dull,
and the steaming rain turned cold in the fall…
the stars all hid behind the city night lights
and you told me she was the one for you this time…

and my heart sighs a heavy sigh beneath my laughing eyes,
and sleep no longer comes easy to me, i’m busy thinking of you at night…
oh make it stop, this really hurts, but then i look up and breathe,
oh thank god, i can feel this pain, it means i’m still feeling

and thank God I really do still have you as a friend,
and thank God I’m almost ready to love again…
i’d been so afraid of heart break for so long…
but if this is as bad as it gets then, bring it on!!!

im ready to be vulnerable at long last
im ready to let these tears and more flood past
i’m tired of acting aloof and like i don’t care
im ready to love, without all the fears…

 

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please fall in love with my smile again


and i feel cold as the warmth of any love we had fades away
i feel alone in the light, in the dark, and at the end of every day,
but i won’t show the tears I’ve cried, they aren’t who i am..
i’ll only laugh, so maybe you will fall in love with my smile again…

 

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is that too much to ask?


I really love being single,
but i see my beauty waning each day…
and I hate the whole got to mingle
but I’m rapidly facing the reality today…

I don’t want a boyfriend, they are wastes of time
I’m perfectly comfortable living my own life..
but im getting to where I want to settle down
and i just want a guy who really figures me out…

i want him to be strong and big, and sweet and kind,
have a handsome face, and preferably blue eyes,
i want him to be wise and witty, and to make me laugh,
and to be deep and true, is that too much to ask?

they say i got to lower these standards down…
but i just don’t know which one, or how…
i’m sorry, but all the good ones are taken these days
maybe i waited too long, and turned love into a game…

but today, i’m dancing on the edge of tomorrow and today

 

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you are my sailboat on the bay


and you’re my “if no other stars cross my sky”
“if I search the whole world & can’t find mr. right”
“you’ll be waiting with your sailboat on the bay”…
“let’s meet in 1 year and see how much we have changed”

you’re the black hole of my darkest anger…
where the jealousy and venom melt into one…
you’re the sparkle of excitement of light
mixed with the beat of my wishes’ drum…

you’re my never ever ever love you
but the one i always fall back to
you’re not the words or the tune of my song,
but you are that steady beat i can’t stop…

You say you want to weave your own fate into the stars
say you never meant to bring me any harm…
and when you accidentally broke my heart…
shrug it off, and now I’m torn apart…

you are my cold night waiting hours in the rain…
but solid shelter from life’s pain…
maybe not the most romantic of dreams,
but you have always been there for me…

you say you’ll never stop calling my phone,
say until I’m married, you won’t leave me alone…
you’re my in a year or two we’ll see…
you bring out the best and worst of me…

 

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dancing on the edge


im dancing on the edge of peace and fear
i’m drinking water to feed my future tears…
i’m laughing in the sunshine despite the distant gloom,
and i’m living in a postcard, that will burn too soon…

just flirting with the clock of my life…
what’s the value of all these exciting times?
every day they seem less and less meaningful
and everyday i just want someone to love and hold…

I dangle my legs off the pier at dawn,
sing in between ice cream bites as I skip along…
pretend like i have no cares or fears within,
but i’m frightened to death, i’ll never love again…

and i’ve hiked in jungles and islands before,
seen many a mountain and many sea shore..
I’ve travelled this world, and I’m starting to think,
maybe I’ll never find someone quite as crazy as me…

 

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