Done acting cool

Let’s not act like we’re on a movie screen.
There are no points for coy lines or clever scenes.
Let’s not act like we have something to prove.
Can we just figure out if you like me, and I like you?

Can we stop trying to be so calculated about it?
Can you just let me know if you want it or not?
I guess since you haven’t made a move that should speak,
Should I read your silence as the answer I haven’t got?

Or I guess I can swallow my pride and just ask.
Just you and I, it’s hard to get that kind of time.
Whatever I’m done playing games, done being a fool.
I’m done trying to act so proud or be so cool.

So here it goes, let’s see how this ends?
Let’s see how broken my heart and pride will get.
Boys are stupid and so are my feelings I’ll pledge until,
Until that one time when that one guy stays…& who knows? maybe you will.

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Posted by on June 5, 2016 in Uncategorized


Modern Dragons Tonight

Sometimes my heart lives in the clouds.
But it’s a blurry distant view of the ground.
I live in the hopes, ambitions, and wishes that take flight,
but it’s dark, lonely, and confusing at night.
Sometimes I lie under bristling leaves and imagine
The excitement and wonder of what it would be to be a dragon.
To breathe passion and fire, and to cut through the skies,
To be fierce, fearless, and to fill every moment with life.
Sometimes, I walk around and pretend I’m happy when I’m not.
I can put on this innocent smile, so no one can see how bad it’s got.
I’ll laugh and I’ll ask questions flirt and charm,
but at the end of the day, I can hold on to no arm.
Sometimes I don’t want to admit how lonely my heart feels.
I’ll deny it and I’ll laugh, and pretend it’s all healed.
So I’ll withdraw into memories and remind my heart not to care.
not get my hopes up, but it’s too late, I’m already there.
He caught my eye. it’s like a dragon’s breathe.
he cut through my skepticism, and I’m fighting with all I have left.
But I’m afraid, while he’s fearless, of heartbreak and being the fool.
And he’s just laughing and playing it all cool.
So tonight, my heart, let’s move back to the clouds
away from blurry and distant risks, that are too scary right now.
Flirt with hopes and ambitions, but don’t let that wish stay in flight.
It’s confusing, it’s wretched, it’s modern love, and a lonely night.

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Posted by on June 5, 2016 in Uncategorized


to the distant hiker

To the man in the blue coat, i’ll let you go.

to my partner in crime, i wish it wasnt a divide.

im so sorry for breaking your heart so slow.

im sure youll get there faster than i.


to the wind in the willows, i beg you blow.

to the birds in the valley side, i beg you fly.

anything that brings peace, i beg you be.

Lord knows how much i need that tonight…


there’s a million fires in the distant earth’s crusts.

but were in a drought and our door is covered in rust.

i dont know what it is, but i domt this is love.

but maybe im wrong, and shouldnt do this to us.


to the man on the distant trail, i bid you farewell

im sorry for bringing uou down the road to hell.

i pray your journey is lined in flowers and full fresh wells

i pray this emptiness in my heart doesnt hurt my health…

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Posted by on April 13, 2016 in Uncategorized



Calculated emotions and words,

play the space between love and hurt…

you step forward, i follow, then you take my hand,

and i take a step back and leave you alone again.


Undecided, oh my soul, be at ease.

If it’s the right time, and the right one, God will speak to me.

Oh my love, i don’t know who you are, but i’m trying.

To find myself and you before too many more years sink.


I’m fading into a sepia memory’s slide.

back when my heart spoke to me all the time.

I’m looking for some saturation to return to this black and white.

What a colorful mask I wear to cover the dull light.

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Posted by on March 31, 2016 in Uncategorized



keep going keep going, the little engine that could.

move on. move on… not even close yet to the end of the world.

And just keep on swimming, running, walking, moving forward.

but all this energy spent sometimes makes me wonder what for?


I don’t believe in giving up, but i just want to binge watch movies tonight.

I believe in a challenge, but i feel a little too uneasy to make this ride…

And i can preach to my friends, write songs, write poems online…

but it’s just to convince my own heart to keep on keepin on with the tries.


My heart it beats too fast, I swear i’m headed for an anxiety attack,

my friends they’ve moved on, it’s all been different since I came back.

Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s them, all i know is I’m too tired for this all…

so. God. you are the only one left, the only word I have left before I fall.


Oh Lord, I know the desert is always where the silence speaks out loud.

So money, so time, to music, so rhymes, they weren’t enough i found.

So i’ll watch a movie, write a poem, get some sleep and set my alarm and

tomorrow, I’m gonna wake up, and fight, and fight, and try and try again.


And oh, i’ve been through too much, this isn’t it, enough, enough

you can’t break my heart, this winter is almost over, moving is tough.

I care what they say, i won’t say i don’t, but God knows I’m the one he chose.

we all are, in our own little battles, i’m ready to rise from this smoke.


I’m not done. oh i’m not done. the little engine that could.

the little girl who did what nobody thought she would.

the little victory nobody will notice in the morning but me,

but God, let’s you and me, have our own little little party.




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Posted by on March 30, 2016 in Uncategorized


underneath the frozen tree

underneath the frozen tree,

I walked out in eerie peace.

Over sculptures of the wind,

snow drifts lay in waves of again.


I thought spring had finally come,

but the weather answers to another one.

I hoped I could entice the sun,

but clearly winter is still having its fun.


So over a frozen lake I dance,

all alone to make-believe romance.

The cold kisses my cheeks and leaves them red,

the silence echoes music in my head.


I explore a white world of sparkles and green,

It feels like there is nobody left but me.

I guess it’s normal to feel so damn alone…

I might as well make this new world my home.


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Posted by on March 23, 2016 in Uncategorized


The Spider must be fed

It poisoned me from the beginning

and cast on me a curse.

Now I’m foaming at the mouth,

and bleeding words out in verse.


Can’t hold all the poetry inside,

can’t fight the burning bite from within.

It’s exhausting to stay up writing,

but even more so to deny the itch…


it uses me like a parasite,

I’m just the hand to unleash it’s words.

Caught in the drama the message ignites,

until I feel another sting, another burn.


Now my insides convulse with toxins

and I hallucinate flashing scenes

until I can tame a pen

and vomit out a new verse for you to read.


So, I hope you enjoyed the taste of my blood,

for it was all I had in place of ink.

That my pain, torment, illness, and vomit,

has oh, so entertained thee…


Oh, but I need the pen, i need the ink.

I need to let the poison bleed out of me.

I’ll take the foaming, for we are all sick,

and at least I can temporarily get rid of it.


Life bites, life poisons, and life must eat.

For life is a spider, slowly spinning its meat.

With verses for threads, and time as a web,

Life is a poem, and the poem must be fed.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA





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Posted by on March 19, 2016 in Uncategorized