u don’t find love? u build it

how much does it matter anyway?
all these people and their stupid games.
why do we all have to care so very much?
I mean, is it even possible to ever really find love…

don’t you have to build it?
don’t you have to grow it?
don’t you have to pay for it?
and even then you never own it…

you don’t just find a diamond on the beach,
why do people force such a silly belief?
why can’t we find some solid enough stone
and carve it out till it matches our own…

isn’t all of it a gamble anyway,
who really knows all the rules of the game?…
all they say is ‘you’ll just know when it’s right…”
but what about choice, risk, and sacrifice?

how much do feelings matter anyway?
what’s so wrong with settling for a safe play?

 

my heart is melting out

my heart is slowly melting out
into tears of crimson need…
staining all my journal pages
like the glass of wine I raise to drink…

my frustration leaks through cracks
like lava shifting out of grinding tectonic plates
gushing and hardening over the flowers
leaving my world in a shiny layer of grey…

my envy boils beneath my stone face
and like the scarlet afterglow of the sky
the vermilion bleeds out the wish of my heart
and cleaves just to turn back time

to before I chose to say goodbye…

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i’m gonna crash your heart

I’m gonna catch you yet…
I’m gonna crash your heart…
i’m gonna flirt real hard,
like i got no pride left to scar…

I’m gonna wrap you around
my little finger like a string,
i’m gonna pull you closer,
until you always stay right next to me…

I’m break down your walls,
change your views on love,
it ain’t just a feeling,
ain’t just a hope, it’s what we was…

it’s what we was back then,
though we didn’t know it yet,
it’s what we are right now,
i’m the face you’ll never forget…

i’m gonna rule your night
like the moon and stars we see,
i’m gonna be super sweet,
and give you my everything

AND THEN, at the end,
i’m gonna let you go away,
let you fly into your own skies,
and we’ll see if you chose to come back into mine…

we’re gonna break the rules together
im gonna break your heart into two
mix it up in a gush of my love,
and see how we do, gonna see how we do…

 

next time, treat her like a lady

you started off sweet always calling her baby
then the mean itched in with smug little sayings,
with advice that made her feel like a small town nobody
then you offered to show her the world, and gave her nothing…

she went from glowing like angel in the southern fields,
to blending into the gray of your shadow in the street…
she ain’t showin’ it, but somewhere deep down, she bleeds,
because man, you just ain’t treatin’ her like a lady.

makin’ her wait in the car, and open her own doors,
don’t ask her about her days, just brag about all of yours,
and you stopped singing her songs, and holding her hand,
and you got a small little group of girls, strung along for a chance…

you’re a mean mister who’s got an ego bigger than this town.
you only wanted her so you could make yourself the brightest star around.
but pretty soon she is gonna have enough and break out…
she’s an angel, and if you won’t, someone else will help her figure that out…

you started off sweet, always calling her baby…
man, someday you’re gonna wish you had treated her like a lady…
when she’s glowing in the Texas sunset on a painted hillside…
kissing her cowboy, who holds her tight to his strong side…

and they ride away.

 

Coyotes, Dust, and the Cost of Love

now go go, just let it all go,
somebody’s gonna go fetch her, you know…
don’t think twice, we both know you can’t do this alone,
so go go go, go bring her back home…

and i feel the earth’s heart beat, under my feet
pulling me back, it’s hypnotizing,
do you believe in fate? do you believe in grace?
do you believe that we were made to change?

oh go go, go bring her back home real quick,
without her, you’re whole world ain’t worth a lick…
go go, the moon swells into a bright enough glow,
for you to ride through the night, and bring her back home…

oh oh oh, the coyotes howl echos in the wind,
she hears it and feeds on the rush of adrenaline,
the pounding hoof beats and the cloud of dust,
charge in the hot summer night with the reality of love…

it’s a chase, it’s a fight, it’s a battle, it’s life
it’s a flash, it’s a thunder, it’s the wild, it’s the wonder,
it’s the bang and the crash, it’s the peace in the aftermath,
it’s the years it’s the tears, it’s the glory, it’s the fears

and it’s the up and down, it’s the distance, it’s this town…
it’s the wrong, it’s the right, it’s the battle cry,
it’s the pain and the gain, it’s always been the same…
it’s the sober it’s the drunk, it’s the cost of love…

 

The woman on the edge of a the fountain she loved

She sat there with wisdom on the edge of the fountain she loved
It was white marble and throwing rainbows into the sky
She had two dogs at her feet, who would fight to protect her,
And, as always she sat there watching the leaves shiver to life.

Every little stone of gravel had 17 tones of color,
And she watched as kids grew up playing on the slide,
She had gone from a girl who was lost on vacation,
To waiting and watching, because this is where they said to reunite…

All these years later, it was as if it had never even happened,
She remembered her mother’s tearful embrace and her father’s strong hug
The fountain had always been her beacon, protector, and peace,
And now she is almost an extension of its ancient wish-granting love…

Today, she rests with silver grey hairs laced into her tresses,
And the same little journal she has held for ages by this time,
She was never afraid, her soul has always found its peaceful garden
Here in the center of the chaotic smoggy city in which she presides…

The queen of this park, for this has come to be her throne,
Watcher of children, keeper of stray dogs, the one all had come to trust,
Someday, they shall chisel her sweet figure out of marble,
And she’ll keep sitting gracefully on the edge of the fountain she loved.

 

deep and far away

Once I felt a reason, and we had our season,
when I could have loved you, I could have loved you…
you sought out answers, to every question
that I ever asked you, that I ever asked you….

But rain and snow and hail came in our winter,
And I just couldn’t make it through to summer days…
I don’t know why I couldn’t keep going, i couldn’t love you.
I can’t really answer the one question you gave…

I know it wasn’t fair, i turned off the water to our fountain,
and you were still there, just wanting to hold my hand.
I don’t know where or what happened to our seasons..
honestly, i don’t think either of us will ever understand….

once I felt a reason, and we had our season,
and I could have loved you, i could have loved you, but walked away
you gave me so many answers so very many answers
and i couldn’t tell you a single reason, even a bad one, that i walked away

somewhere there in the shadow of time, in the base of words, and the depth of rhymes
I’m still searching, I”m still digging in my soul,
somewhere so deep, so very cold, somewhere so very hard,
can anybody ever love something so very far… far away,
can anybody make it, dig that deep, to that dark of a place?