tragedy of the norm

took my hope and took my heart
took my dreams and lit a spark,
should’ve known fire burns
and that a burn leaves a scar…

got no tragedy to mourn
was only a victim to the norm,
undervalued what we had
and thought it not worth fighting for…

but some times the fire stays
and sometimes it don’t even fade
and when the winds blow in your face,
sometimes, it just strengthens the flame.

So i left, and you moved on…
like every one-who-got-away song…
should of listened to the radio
before i made the same wrong…

took my hope and took my heart
took my dreams and lit a spark,
should’ve known fire burns
and that a burn leaves a scar…

i know you are only human
i remember you as a friend
as the one who taught me to love,
and since whom i haven’t loved again…

 

the fan and the floor

and this is where i’ll leave your memory to rot
stop asking me to come back so we can half ass this more,
i’m sick of making up in my head what we’ve got,
cuz somewhere or another the fan flung our shit on the floor…

and i’m so glad, we ended like we did…
so glad i remembered why i had to get over it…
im so glad, i don’t feel the need to be friends
glad i was honest, and told you it all was pretend.

now it’s too late, for you and me to go
please just let me never see your face ever again.
please let’s just admit what they predicted long ago,
there’s nothing that we have to explain or defend

 

to love a broken heart

years ago i fell in love with a broken heart
bleeding glass shattered on concrete…
i was only a young, naive, and a hopeful fool,
yet was convinced that i knew everything…

I grew to adore every sharp and brittle part
but felt a new gash with every hug i held him dear…
thought i could heal him and the pain would go away with time,
but eventually the shards tore through my chest into my heart…

and now, you’re trying to love a broken heart
oh how it’s edges glitter in the sun you shine,
don’t be a romeo, just whistle while you go,
do us both a favor, and give me some time alone…

 

until you say goodbye to me

I never meant to leave you behind
I don’t know what I thought I would find
I guess i thought you might follow behind
And always believed we get back together with time

When you moved on, I really did try.
I tried with men, I tried with wine,
I tried with travels, and I tried with time…
But I still can’t get you out of my mind…

I guess you’re happy and have moved on
This time I won’t lie, I wish it were me.
but since this is what you want, all I ask,
and all I beg that you give in parting,

is show up for one last night to dance
please let’s talk, so I can realize we’re too different,
and I’ve already thrown away my pride so grant me this one thing,
please show up, so that you can say good bye to me.

I finally realized you’re the heart I can’t let go
So I need you to be the one to leave me alone.
Because I can’t move on, Until I see,
until I see you say goodbye to me.

 

i beg to differ.

Everyone always says the hardest thing is letting go.
But i beg to differ.

letting go and moving on may bitter the heart
and cloud the mind
but it’s nothing that can’t be solved with enough travel
and enough time…

but the hardest challenge, the bloodiest battle to be fought
is not letting go of the past, it’s trying again.
it’s giving what has hurt you time and time again this second chance,
even though you know how it will end.

it’s holding onto the belief that whatever pains that you have come to know and as part of your life
are worth the eventual joy that has been promised to you, after all this wasted strife.

everyone always has said that the hardest thing is letting go.
im sorry but i have to differ,
the hardest thing is after every burn, after every scar, still fighting for hope. the hardest battle is hope.

but it’s the key to everything. hope. always hope.

 

the story it wasn’t supposed to be

this ain’t no story of beauty.
and it really isn’t a story of love
just a story of confusion and choices
that led us into this awkward hug…

because feelings are never really easy
and for me they are the hardest to name.
i never meant to hurt you or use you,
i didn’t realize that we were even playing a game.

but the spell i cast on your heart has
worn off and so has the spell on mine…
we both realize this whole thing is drama
and we’re just caught in the story line…

and i know you really think you still want me.
but i know it’s just to save your pride and your word.
said you were coming down here for a love story…
the end always feels like a punch in the gut and hurts..

can we just let this go like steam into the sky?
can we just pretend it never happened and be friends?
can you stop trying to win me back and just let us be?
can all these awkward hugs and words just finally end?

 

withdrawal from love

holding back my love
you’d been so addicted on…
i see you suffer withdrawal
as im halfway already gone…

he came in and stole a part
of the world we almost had
and i can’t make up my mind
and the storm clouds grew sad,

they furled down acid rain
and burned my beauty away.
they scorned my indecision
and whipped my heart with chains.

Now it bleeds for how i yearn
to both love and unlove both…
i see how much i’ve hurt them,
and i’d rather always be alone…

than ever hurt anyone again…
than to feel my gut wince…
as you strike it with begging words…
to please love you once again…

 

between hurt and rage

somewhere between the hurt and the rage,
a longing panic cried ‘don’t go away’…
somewhere between ‘please stay’ and ‘goodbye’
I was in shock, as i looked into your eyes.

because i don’t understand why…
was she more beautiful than me?
for those 3 minutes did you believe,
that we weren’t ever going to be anything?

Did you think i wouldn’t care?
but even then, i just don’t see how…
you could love me like you say you do
but kiss her 3 weeks before you move down.

So many stupid journal pages
I’ve scribbled on and on about you.
so many nights i spent just imagining,
that you were lying in my bed too…

and i’d been waiting and waiting,
and was just at the point when my cold heart melted
and decided to open up and trust
and i just hate how you did it, but im the one who got f***ed

im the one who felt it so wrong in my gut.
im the one who feels like im less for your wrong
im the one who questions what is love,
do i know you? you aren’t who i thought…

 

as close as i can let you come

i just want to scratch these scales off my back…
feel the burn as these cold hours pass….
i just want to dig the dark hole out of my gut…
throw it into the light and know what’s what…

I feel the laser beams sizzling by my ears,
as my body is suspended in mid air…
franticly trying to escape this foggy maze,
and all i know and all i have is your gaze…

i just want to lie to you, to find the truth,
i just want to run away, to see if you will too…
i just want to lock you out of my heart and cry
because it’s so very very lonely inside.

but i have a heart that cannot be loved
it’s too cold, it will shatter at your touch
i’m afraid, this is as far as i can let you come…
because i just really can’t do it, i just can’t really love.
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my heart is melting out

my heart is slowly melting out
into tears of crimson need…
staining all my journal pages
like the glass of wine I raise to drink…

my frustration leaks through cracks
like lava shifting out of grinding tectonic plates
gushing and hardening over the flowers
leaving my world in a shiny layer of grey…

my envy boils beneath my stone face
and like the scarlet afterglow of the sky
the vermilion bleeds out the wish of my heart
and cleaves just to turn back time

to before I chose to say goodbye…

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