chart our stars, and melt my heart

in the silence, beats a whisper to the dark…
it’s the soft whimper of a slowly starving heart…
no longer desperate, it has outlived the war,
but it’s missing the hope it had before…

oh so unwise, after all this time,
indecisive and apathetically inclined.
i turn so cold, when i’m afraid,
lest i relieve all the frozen pain…

i want to love, make me a sun,
blaze in the day ricochet off the moon,
i want to awake, i want to flood,
let my walls and darkness come undone

a galaxy too expansive for me,
i couldn’t chose a brightest star,
but now i see, the truth of things,
the brightest depends on where you are…

So come close to me, i want your touch.
i want you to know my heart, my love.
melt the frozen blood, let me cry,
just stay here, at my wounded side.

and I will see your scars, and light your dark.
i will hold your hand, and make you a star chart,
we can dance, on earth it’s more than enough
our day has finally come to free us to be us.

i want my best friend, by my side.
the one who makes me smile any time.
i don’t need a star, or foreign mystery,
i just want to give you everything, all of me.

 

Man, to get here…

Man, I just don’t give a care,
the longer i live the less it means, i swear…
all the status and accolades i used to need
now appear such shallow and empty dreams…

I’ve grown past needing to get even or be right,
it was a fruitless and exhausting fight.
i’m tired of spending nights counting wrongs,
they’re forgiven and set free like a voice in a song…

I’m sure I’m still ignorant and plenty naive
enough for yall to point fingers and make jokes at me,
so go ahead, i’ll just laugh and let it go,
get an extra smile, and be fine, because you know…

man, these days, i just don’t give a care,
it comes in on one side, then out the other ear,
i’m a good person, not perfect, but i’m okay.
and i know inside out, that won’t change with what you say.

the out-smarting, the bragging, and extra glamourous things,
are worthless and useless if you don’t care for high society,
I have realized how fleeting and hot burns their fire,
while, hardly worth holding, and self harming to aquire…

so nowadays, i don’t give a care
you can love me or hate me, or in my apathy share,
I’m genuinely happy forgiving, and with it all gone,
For the first time, I have really and finally moved on…

 

tragedy of the norm

took my hope and took my heart
took my dreams and lit a spark,
should’ve known fire burns
and that a burn leaves a scar…

got no tragedy to mourn
was only a victim to the norm,
undervalued what we had
and thought it not worth fighting for…

but some times the fire stays
and sometimes it don’t even fade
and when the winds blow in your face,
sometimes, it just strengthens the flame.

So i left, and you moved on…
like every one-who-got-away song…
should of listened to the radio
before i made the same wrong…

took my hope and took my heart
took my dreams and lit a spark,
should’ve known fire burns
and that a burn leaves a scar…

i know you are only human
i remember you as a friend
as the one who taught me to love,
and since whom i haven’t loved again…

 

when you stopped being a poem

today, you stopped being a poem,
and became the subject of much more.
no longer a pair of eyes i flirt with,
instead you’re the man i’ve come to adore.

you’ve become the heart i want mine to beat next to,
and the last voice i want to hear tell me goodnight.
of course every love is a gamble of emotions and time,
but you’ve become the risk worth putting my heart on the line.

You stopped being the ideal prince I demanded,
and became the human who makes me roll my eyes.
you stopped being the next best thing for now,
and today, became the main character in the rest of my life.

 

my drought and storm….

I built myself a solid shelter from the storm…
with rusty nails the builders had once spurred.
I felt no need, in design, to conform.
so i nested it in a tree, where i could feel as a bird…

but in life, it’s usually flood or drought,
and the wisdom of elders is often drowned out,
by the firework’s boom, and the flashing lights,
and those in the trees, lose the power of lime lights…

I told myself, others would build nearby soon…
but the lights afar, were the only ones that grew,
i know that I’m the one who looks lost in a dream,
but I’m just not like them, and I’m sick of trying to be.

I”m tired of calling out, waving others to come in.
for they all promised to join, but then went away again.
and perhaps, alone, and afar, is where Im meant to be,
though, the view is now watching everyone else become happy.

call me stubborn, call me extreme,
but i won’t leave paradise just to find company…
though without someone, what is paradise for?
and so both my storm and drought begin once more…

how much is paradise really worth?
and ought i maybe consider to conform?
for the sun encircles their world and mine,
and the only similarity, is the passing time…

 

the fan and the floor

and this is where i’ll leave your memory to rot
stop asking me to come back so we can half ass this more,
i’m sick of making up in my head what we’ve got,
cuz somewhere or another the fan flung our shit on the floor…

and i’m so glad, we ended like we did…
so glad i remembered why i had to get over it…
im so glad, i don’t feel the need to be friends
glad i was honest, and told you it all was pretend.

now it’s too late, for you and me to go
please just let me never see your face ever again.
please let’s just admit what they predicted long ago,
there’s nothing that we have to explain or defend

 

until you say goodbye to me

I never meant to leave you behind
I don’t know what I thought I would find
I guess i thought you might follow behind
And always believed we get back together with time

When you moved on, I really did try.
I tried with men, I tried with wine,
I tried with travels, and I tried with time…
But I still can’t get you out of my mind…

I guess you’re happy and have moved on
This time I won’t lie, I wish it were me.
but since this is what you want, all I ask,
and all I beg that you give in parting,

is show up for one last night to dance
please let’s talk, so I can realize we’re too different,
and I’ve already thrown away my pride so grant me this one thing,
please show up, so that you can say good bye to me.

I finally realized you’re the heart I can’t let go
So I need you to be the one to leave me alone.
Because I can’t move on, Until I see,
until I see you say goodbye to me.

 

My heart waits

And if I were to try to find your heart,
I wouldn’t even know where to start, oh no…
A heart is not a quest
nor a war to be brought to rest,

And the man for whom I wish…
is more than just a check list…
A dream is more than colors and shapes,
it’s the way it leaves you feeling when you awake…

And I… I
I’m still waiting for mine.
Sure he’s a type, sure he’s kind,
and sure it’s the idea I have in my mind,

But it’s you and your eyes,
and the way you look into mine…
It’s how I can look at you too,
and feel completely unglued…

It’s how I want to be your partner in every game,
It’s how I want to be your side kick in every race,
It’s how I want to be your trophy, I want to be your prize,
I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine oh mine…

And if I were to try to find your heart,
I wouldn’t even know where to start,
But somewhere in the future, embedded in fate,
You better find me… for in the meantime, my heart waits…

 

the cost of living out dreams

the world is not nearly as large as i once had thought it…
people not so very diverse nor different beneath.
and as i sit here now where i had once only imagined,
i dwell on the cost of living your dreams…

there is always a loss of what could have been
that we trade for whatever we chose to achieve…
and the sickest of lies that hollywood has polluted
is that we can have it all, if we only believe.

Nobody can have it all.

So before you trade your day to day world
with loved ones and adorned with daily routine,
question in your heart what is the cost you are willing
to trade in reality for the chance to live your dreams?

 

withdrawal from love

holding back my love
you’d been so addicted on…
i see you suffer withdrawal
as im halfway already gone…

he came in and stole a part
of the world we almost had
and i can’t make up my mind
and the storm clouds grew sad,

they furled down acid rain
and burned my beauty away.
they scorned my indecision
and whipped my heart with chains.

Now it bleeds for how i yearn
to both love and unlove both…
i see how much i’ve hurt them,
and i’d rather always be alone…

than ever hurt anyone again…
than to feel my gut wince…
as you strike it with begging words…
to please love you once again…